[dusted]

I've long suspected that (at least my own) tinnitus was a neurological phenomenon, seeing how it's always been with me at various "levels of presence", from imperceptible to so loud I can't hear anything else, I've always felt it as an "inner sound".. Had multiple hearing tests, and nothing in particular showed up. It's also weird because it changes somewhat in frequency, both down to frequencies my 40 year old ears can register and up beyond what I can actually hear when doing a test..

But especially the coming and going and how it seems affected to level of tiredness or amount of sleep I got.. Of course, reading the article made me aware of it and now it's loud than before..

I've had strong symptoms of adhd my whole life, but never thought much of it (except as a lack of self dicipline and general failure of a broken robot to impersonate a real human), but as demands on my performance rose to real-adult levels with a young child and duties beyond not dying, I decided to tell the doc how it had generally felt like to be myself, at which point I was referred to someone with a specialty in broken brains, and we quickly agreed that while I wasn't going to become normal, certain stimulants at least provided me with sufficient energy to carry out most of the functions expected by an adult member of society with actual responsibilities.

And so, over the past.. more than a year, I've gotten to experience a little bit of everything as my brain gets to oscillate between being slightly oversaturated to absolutely drained of certain neurotransmitters in a way that at the same time feels slightly unsustainable and the only alternative where I get to not be absolutely miserable all the time.

The point of that story, being, these "phantom precepts", fits the bill somewhat well. I've always had a very conscious experience of common neurological phenomenon which are naturally present but largely-unnoticed by many (auras, visual snow, floaters, phosphenes, tinnitus, afterimages) so I'm probably a bit one the sensitive side, and, the medication seems to have a quite interesting effect on these as well, among them, I noticed the ABSENCE of noticing my clothes touching my skin.. I am no longer acutely aware of the cooling sensation of inhaling air through my nose, and I rarely hear the beat of my heart in my ears.. Maybe the weirdest effect is on saccades, in a conversation, looking from one person to the next seems to be as instant as before, but the blur of my eyes moving between points of focus is gone, it's kind of jarring, just poof, one picture, then another.. nothing in between.

I now seem to be able to influence my attention somewhat, that is, to do whatever that cognitive regulation is called, so that my focus shifts to a subject I need to do but have no interest in doing (oh wait, that's why I got the medication), but it does make me wonder, if tinnitus is just one of the more obvious (and therefore common) neurological processes that "pokes through" maybe perception of sound and attention (and maybe therefore also conscious experience of sound) have evolved to be more strongly linked (because if you notice the predator sneaking up on you, you get to not be eaten).

Maybe this stronger link is why tinnitus is so obvious, and maybe sleep is instrumental in regulating consciousness, so if consciousness is differently regulated, or less regulated, maybe it's easier for the phenomenon to "seep through".

[Aeglaecia]

out of all the people in this thread, you seem the most likely candidate to appreciate the following - tinnitus symptoms are often conflated with hearing sensitivity. if you can see auras, then id say your tinnitus symptoms arent indicative of tinnitus. search up brain wave frequencies and look at images. id wager you are hearing yourself, especially during changes of frequency. as well, just prior to sleep, you might hear a spike - thats the brain commencing the sleep mode algorithm (no wonder tinnitus wrecks sleep, affected individuals would struggle at synchronizing both hemispheres with the sleep algorithm when an involved sensor is malfunctioning)

seperately ... its clear that you recognise the incompatibility between sensitive individuals and a society designed to place the populace into constant fight or flight. youre still showing signs of blaming yourself. literally nobody is going to understand you (especially not doctors) and the sooner you accept this, the sooner you will free up a lot of trapped energy. id stop taking the stimulants regularly man ... even without their effect, barely anybody is going to understand your words, and the number of people who will appreciate your words is reduced when they are conveyed via essays (honestly i cant find the strength to read them properly) ... in general your expression has reminded me of the message behind the lateralus chorus

[cclark505]

I have Ménière’s disorder and had a few short episodes of vertigo before one finally got me discombobulated. I woke up one morning and couldn’t get my extremities to function. Couldn’t tell up from down. It took about 8 hours for it to completely go away but then I realized I had lost most of my hearing in my right ear and half in my left, and had constant tinnitus and dizziness. I went to an ENT and learned that there is nothing I could do as there is no cure for Ménière’s. I have gotten better at dealing with the tinnitus and don’t notice it unless the train whistle or the lion roars start. I keep hoping one day that I will read that someone has found a cure! Ah well, hope springs eternal!!

[asplake]

I suffered a highly unpleasant vertigo attack yesterday - happens every once in a while. Tinnitus was the warning, and I was definitely over-tired beforehand.

After an ear infection 30 years ago I lost most hearing in my left ear and my balance was affected. Not a massive problem most of the time but I regret not being able to read when travelling, even by plane or train. It’s audiobooks all the way…

[Aeglaecia]

im sorry to hear that, some of my family members have inner ear disorders and the nausea/vertigo sounds terrible. the original comment isnt targeted at those like yourself who unfortunately must deal with damaged peripherals ... but still there is a chance it could apply. may i ask whether you ever noticed ringing in your ears to be correlated with a change of mental state? examples of this chage would be arriving at a big realisation, or commencing relaxation, or performing meditation.

[dusted]

I'm mainly thinking that the "sound" of tinnitus may be inherent in the brain, and the problem is the percept itself, not a percept of the tinitus, but the percept being generated while nothing was perceived, and so we become aware of this weird almost impossibly fine hight pitch.

It kind of fits with the patterns I and many other people describe, like the intensity varying with sleepiness and other mental state, and how it goes away if we hear _actual_ sounds of a broad enough spectrum..

It might be this little thing where it comes on by mistake, but it doesn't turn off again, and we latch onto it, and that's the feedback loop that enforces it.. I'm not saying we can "think it away" but I'm noticing in myself, that I didn't have any tinnitus _AT_ALL_ when I woke up, and now I'm almost consumed by this 20khz tone (my hearing stops around 16khz), and sitting here playing with that in my mind, I can certainly make it dim somewhat.

I wonder if there are some cognitive exercises that can be done especially for people who either don't have it, or have gotten it very recently. (Literature talks about some meditation and mindfulness, which I'm generally not a big believer in, but nevertheless, those do touch on the idea of messing around inside ones head in a top-down way).

I'm not too hooked on the idea that adhd is simply a "different kind of brain", I don't buy that we were the excellent survivors or hunters, I'm pretty sure I'd be the caveman who was eaten by a bear because I was too distracted by the pattern of shadows from two branches moving just the right way xD

I don't really blame myself, but I don't need to defend my condition (my personal condition, I'm not speaking on behalf of others), I've always been bothered by it, not simply when the mirror of expectation and society is held up against me, but even when left to do as I please, I find that while there are areas in which I function, and function well, there are areas where I'm so limited that it seems unreasonable even within my own framework. :)

[Aeglaecia]

constant 20khz does sound more like a damaged peripheral therefore my positation was incorrect, i wish i could help more but i dont have enough experience, that being said i do find super interesting the idea of playing a tone at the same frequency to manually force brains into filtering it out, thanks for sharing your perspective , all the best