[lowsong]

Listen, If you truly want help you've made the first step by realising what's wrong, but you won't get help here.

This community is obsessively pro-AI. Asking here is the equivalent of asking the guy who has sat at the slot machine next to you for the past three hours if he thinks you have a gambling problem. Of course he's going to say "no" or try to justify it, to do otherwise would be to admit to himself that he has a problem.

I don't have advice for you, other than to look up what gambling, drug, or alcohol addicts do. The path to recovery for all addiction is long and painful, but it can be done. Good luck.