I like the thought behind the piece, but what I think the criticisms are reacting to is the profusion of short, bursty sentences (just like the ones in the parent post), which can be great when used sparingly, but start to feel repetitive and have a "LinkedIn"-ish vibe, at least to me. For example the very end:
Most of you won't be able to answer that. And you already know it.
That's the conversation this industry needs to have. Not tomorrow. Now.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way and do continue writing - I enjoyed this piece, just wanted to give some constructive feedback
Then just post your opinions rather than the text the LLM dreamed around your opinions. Short posts and tweets tend to be well-liked on HN, there is no need to puff it up to a big blog post.
Look, I'm sympathetic to not feeling like you're a good writer, but there are plenty of writing styles which doesn't turn your opinions into overly dramatic AI slop. And now I don't even know which opinions are your own and which are from a GPT, hence my "unreadable" comment even if it sounds harsch. But it literally is impossible to infer what your opinions actually are when they have been butchered this hard in slop.