[beaker52]

The other day I saw a guy on the train looking at pictures he was actively receiving of a topless woman. He was clearly enjoying it, in his own little world, so I leaned over and said “don’t get scammed buddy”.

His anger brewed for a few minutes and he decided he wanted to fight me, so he menacingly stood up. I remained seated and told him to sit down. He ended up grabbing me by the throat, while no-one around did a thing to stop him.

It’s made me think twice about interacting with random people, tits or no tits. But I doubt I’ll learn anything from it and continue with reckless abandon, because life is mundane otherwise.

[closewith]

Involving yourself by commenting on very personal matters, especially in a smug or condescending manner, is almost guaranteed to end badly.

[beaker52]

Losing one’s temper leads things to end badly.

[closewith]

Losing your temper when a serious boundary has been crossed is natural and expected. It had a positive outcome in that it stopped your bad behaviour immediately.

> He ended up grabbing me by the throat, while no-one around did a thing to stop him.

The bystander effect is real, but you should also take this opportunity for self-reflection, because in this case, you were the person behaving badly who instigated the situation.

> But I doubt I’ll learn anything from it

Yes, unfortunately it seems unlikely you will.

[beaker52]

Serious boundary? He put tits in front of my eyes. Am I supposed to remember to keep my eyes pinned to the floor when out in public? What a terrible way you must live.

I’m afraid to say, that if you want a boundary, go home. Otherwise, accept that you’re in public, and people can and will speak to you.

Also, you’ve just justified being violent in response to someone making sounds with their mouth. I bet you’re a calm person to be around, when everyone does what you want.

[awesomeMilou]

No verbal comment, be it a comment or an actual insult or otherwise, justifies violence and crossing the body threshold. In what world do you live?

[closewith]

In the real world, many comments can and will provoke violence. In many cases, it's justifiable.

> In what world do you live?

In what bubble do you live? Go out into the world and behave like the GP. Your apparent mental model of society will collapse quickly.

[awesomeMilou]

I just want to reply, a few days after the fact: What you describe would be illegal in my country. Save for me insulting your basic human dignity, i.e. if I were to call you subhuman or something like that (which I'm not, this is an example), what you're describing would be assault and you'd be arrested.

[beaker52]

You’ve suggested they live in a bubble, yet your comments suggest that you expect no-one to “invade” your blissful little privacy bubble, and believe it’s okay to strike out and be physically violent to others if they do.

> Go out into the world and behave like the GP. Your apparent mental model of society will collapse quickly.

The problem you’ve got is that I will win. If you permit escalating mouth words to physical violence, I’ll have stabbed you in the face for your mouth words before you’ve gotten very far. Subduing your propensity for physical escalation is in your favour.

[pingou]

This is quite entertaining and I'm glad there are people like you, but you didn't even think it would be inappropriate to comment on a naked picture that someone receives in a private conversation? I don't even think you were supposed to look at his phone.

[beaker52]

Yeah, you see, I don’t think you’ve quite understood the art of talking to anyone. It doesn’t happen by staring at the floor and minding your own business. Quite the opposite, mostly.

Despite illusions and every misguided attempt, when in public, you’re not actually in an impenetrable little bubble. And when your bubble bursts, you can laugh, or get angry. I recommend choosing laughter because it’s easier on the eyes.

[nindalf]

> Yeah, you see, I don’t think you’ve quite understood the art of talking to anyone

Have you? You're dripping with condescension for everyone who's replied to you so far, in addition to the guy in your anecdote. You've asked one person to "fuck off" when they were polite. Do you think closewith or pingou have enjoyed their interaction with you?

Or is your art of talking to people just meant to amuse you and ignore the feelings of others?

By the way, there is a social convention that we refrain from commenting on what's on people's phones even though we can see it. It's considered an invasion of privacy if we do.

[beaker52]

> You've asked one person to "fuck off" when they were polite.

Someone doesn't understand an example when they see one.

> You're dripping with condescension for everyone who's replied to you so far,

Yes

> Or is your art of talking to people just meant to amuse you and ignore the feelings of others?

Every one of you has failed to see what's wrong with expecting people to act the way _you_ want when in public, and been compelled to tell me how _you_ think I should act to make _you_ happy. I can act the way I want, just like the gorilla on the train can act how he wants, and hark: this is the world. One can laugh at it, or one can get angry. I am laughing. You are, what? Being moved by symbols appearing on a screen, which evoked emotions attached to your lack of control over the way _I_ behave, which makes you feel afraid because I could "invade your privacy" -- what does that even mean? Like seriously, what does that matter what my eyes see? Why am I responsible for averting my eyes from shit you're presenting in public? Why should I not pass comment? Did I hurt your feelings? Because you forgot you're in public and didn't keep your shit private enough? Or did you hurt your own feelings through your own unrealistic expectations and your own failure to keep private what you just bandied around in public?

Because I can explain why you shouldn't turn into an ape and physically attack someone. Because physical violence leads to injuries which cannot be undone.

I am so sorry that I saw your phone in public, and that your feelings were so hurt by what my eyes saw - as a failure to stare firmly at the ground. And I'm sorry that my mouth vibrated some air particles that tickled your eardrum in a way that revealed a truth that made you feel uncomfortable. Beat me, I deserve everything you have for me.

What a troubled world you're trying to enforce.

> By the way, there is a social convention that we refrain from commenting on what's on people's phones even though we can see it.

There's a social convention that you don't go around displaying tits on screens that other people might see. So what? Did I turn into an ape and start fighting him? No.

>It's considered an invasion of privacy if we do.

"Invasion"? I barely moved a muscle. On this basis, his pornography invaded my consciousness. Did I turn into an ape and start fighting him? No.

Forgive me for speaking to all of you, for a brief moment, from a place of condescension, but y'all have a fragile expectation of privacy in public, if y'all are gonna turn into gorillas the moment you become aware of your own failure to conceal what you wish you kept private. Privacy is not in harmony with the properties of the physical world when in close proximity to other human beings - and it's not anyone's job to turn their eyes off, or keep their mouth shut, for your pleasure, just as the sky has no job ensuring the weather is in keeping with your desires. You can either fight or allow the world around you. I'm suggesting to you, that you allow it. The world rains on me all the time, and I play with every drop. If you're fighting, you're choosing to fight, and it's not a good look. If you're being "invaded", you're choosing to have something to defend.

I'm declining your invitation to close my eyes, and I'm letting you know my door is open, so come on in, but please, if you wouldn't mind - take your shoes off.

<3

[nindalf]

You've written a lot of words to avoid saying a simple thing - you wanted to mess with someone to entertain yourself and it backfired. That's the whole story. The philosophy is window dressing.

[closewith]

> Yeah, you see, I don’t think you’ve quite understood the art of talking to anyone.

Well, mastering the art of talking to anyone involves being able to initiate a conversation with people of many cultures, in many mental states, in many circumstances.

A master of talking to anyone won't begin with a condescending and invasive comment, as they will recognise that beginning a conversation disrespectfully is unlikely to be received warmly.

[beaker52]

You’re being condescending and invading my space, now fuck off.

Am I doing it right?

No. That’s responding with aggression, to an otherwise placid comment.

I posit that you would be better off practicing being less offended and stuck up your own arse, and learning to live a little.

[pingou]

I would say mastering the art of talking to anyone includes having a good mental model of what the other person thinks or how they would react.

It can be delightful to be surprised, but if you are surprised all the time then I would say something may be wrong in the way you see the world.

Nowhere did I say that people should mind their own business at all time. You cannot imagine a situation where you shouldn't talk to a person? You feel entitled to look at their phone? Is there no social boundary you respect? You are free to not respect them, but you can't hardly be surprised to experience pushback. Again, I like that people like you exist, I hope I don't come as too aggressive.

[beaker52]

I was not interested in his phone until my eyes were drawn to the image of some great big jubbly boobies staring back at me.

I’m sure you’ve encountered the phenomenon of noticing something unusual within your line of sight.

If you’re going to engage with such content in public with such disregard that others’ gaze may be drawn to it, then you deserve to receive whatever wisdom or drivel may spill from those onlookers lips.

And you’re right, there is nothing stopping anyone from talking to me. I accept their intrusion into my space as a peril of being in public. If you climb through my window to speak to me, that is a different matter.

[rafaelero]

I like you.

[beaker52]

Wanna get married?

(Ah man, I’ve done it again. Please don’t hurt me, for intruding on your personal circumstances with my mouth sounds and finger symbols)