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by asian_invasion 4984 days ago
Yeah, basically it sucks. As another commenter stated, it's just the nature of the game. In this arena, for females, being asian is often an asset, but for males a liability. There's sometimes an elitist air among asian women that they can do "better" than settling for an asian man.

At least in my experience, it gets better with age. When women begin favoring stability over excitement/looks, the things you can control become more of a factor such as career, maturity, interests. As long as you're financially stable and reasonably normal (no basement full of blow up dolls) you stand a good chance, I think.

Also, this is a tough area for asian guys, but you're going to have to find a way to exude confidence. This is somewhat circular since society is not really reinforcing your self esteem, but it's up to you to break that cycle. In my case, I pretty much gave up on relationships and then they started happening. I guess people seem more secure when they don't care? (Oh, and don't be bitter. Bitter people suck to be around.)

I'm married now (to an asian girl) and even though women cannot be blamed for having a preference, I still can't help feeling injustice at this predicament. Anyway, I said "you" in this comment a lot, but I mean it generally and it's written just as some offhand advice for my asian brothers out there. But for you personally, I just wanted to say "I feel ya, bro".

1 comments

As a white male who has dated Asian females in the past (and is currently in a relationship with a white woman, if you must know, and to ward off the inevitable charges of "yellow fever"), I find at least part of this sentiment highly irritating. I'm really not sorry at all for "taking" something from you that you don't "own" to begin with. They aren't "your" women and they can date whoever they want to. They're not "betraying" anyone in dating outside of their race. (I use quotes not to quote you but rather others who have made similar arguments).

This basic idea, that you can't even get the women you were entitled to by your birthright, is based on fundamentally flawed assumptions.

> There's sometimes an elitist air among asian women that they can do "better" than settling for an asian man.

This is probably what you're responding to. Read this as the perception held by some asian guys. I don't mean that asian girls should feel obligated in any way to "their group". It's just that they sometimes go out of their way to associate outside of it. It's not to their detriment because everyone's preference is their right. I'm merely noting that the demographic most likely to connect with asian males due to physical/cultural familiarity is still somewhat disinclined to accept them. This situation does not need correction; I'm only trying to identify with the parent commenter.

I think you read differently from me, I did not saw anything you answered for in the above comment.