[UltraSane]

"It's going to be every god damned thing on the internet. Why? Because why the hell not"

This is not a persuasive argument.

You are also ignoring the fact that YOU can use remote attestation to verify remote computers are running what they say they are.

"I've been involved in tech a long, long time. The first thing I'm going to do when I retire is start chucking devices. I'm checking-out, none of this is proving to be worth the financial and privacy costs."

You actually sound like you are having a nervous breakdown. Perhaps you should take a vacation.