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by elliotmy 149 days ago
Fair criticism on the framing. I meant it as: “If you ever feel tempted to do sexual things that would betray, coerce, or exploit someone – don’t. Remove yourself, get help if needed, and never make your urges someone else’s problem.”

I absolutely don’t mean “men who don’t offend are merely restraining themselves from offending”. That framing is both inaccurate and unfair. Most men aren’t sitting on violent impulses; they simply don’t want to harm anyone.

The point I was aiming for was narrower: sexual harm, cheating, and boundary-crossing still exist at scale, and some men *do* rationalise it (including sexual assault, coercion, entitlement, misuse of status, infidelity, etc.) The point was meant as a warning to take it seriously if you have these feelings, not a description of universal male psychology.

That said, I accept the phrasing invited misreading. If I were rewriting it, I'd be more precise.