[orangethirty]

Only rule violated in this version is that it refers too much to ME and too little to YOU the reader.

I knew that would be your only criticism against it. But test it as I wrote it, please. Let's challenge your reader hypothesis.

[amiheines]

I got your version up and ready for A/B testing today!

Can you please submit the site in a new post to HN? I'm too new here and don't want to post my own web site here.

I promise to write a blog post on the results, this will be fun! Perhaps we can finally debunk one rule about writing sales letters.

[orangethirty]

Sure, why not? But when you make it big you have to buy me a pina colada. :)

Edit

Won't work. HN wont allow for the same URL to be posted twice. Change the URL with a A/B identifier and let me know. Email me (in profile).