[gretch]

Yeah so far there's not enough nuance in the discussion.

I also like to separate between 1) solvable vs unsolvable problems: e.g. you cannot solve a deceased relative.

Also 2) first time vs multiple repeat problems

If find it very irritate someone is venting to me repeatedly about solvable problems.

But if it's a 1 time unsolvable problem, then it's important to be in listening mode.

[calcifer]

You are missing the point, though. The complainer decides whether it's a solvable problem or not, not the listener. So "I'll listen if it's unsolvable (to me)" is a non-starter.

[gretch]

Well I decide if it’s annoying to me and I’m going to tolerate it or lend support.