[ChrisMarshallNY]

In my case, I really do want to be of use. In fact, I often tend to stay well in the background, and deliberately eschew credit.

That said, I do tend to get upset, when I’m taken for granted, but that’s really my own fault. I know it, rationally, but my inner brat still wants to throw a tantrum.

[pdimitar]

Well if none of the measures you already tried to stop that did not work, then maybe one thing that can help you is asking yourself whether you are not feeling drained after interacting with those people?

I, like yourself, cannot override my engineering mindset. I ALWAYS WANT TO HELP. But at one point I reframed it as an energy budget problem and how efficiently are my time and energy spent... and then it clicked.

[ChrisMarshallNY]

I have learned to do that, but it actually makes me uncomfortable to do it.

I'm "on the spectrum," which, in my case, manifests as not being very comfortable, when people give me attention. That's why I like working on "infrastructure" stuff (and also why I used to be a bass player[0]).

[0] https://cmarshall.com/MulletMan.jpg (That hair was in style, back then. I no longer look like that).