[bherms]

All of the replies so far are suggesting ideas for an individual but seem to be missing the real crux of the matter...

Yes, you'll be less lonely if you join a group, get out of your house, etc... But how do we actively incentivize that? Social media and whatnot have hundreds of thousands of people working around the clock to find ways to suck you in and monopolize your time.

While "everyone should recognize the problem and then take steps to solve it for themselves" is the obvious solution, it's also not practical to just have everyone collectively decide they need to get out more without SOME sort of fundamental change in our society/incentives/etc

[kubb]

I agree with this, and I think we're partly conditioned to think this way. We (think we) can change ourselves, but we (believe we) can't change the world. I think it's OK to think bigger.

To make friends, people need a place to meet, to have time and means to be there, and a reason to go there semi-regularly. A lot of the design of society completely ignores these needs. These are solvable problems.

[energy123]

We invented Soma from Brave New World. No amount of individual action will overcome the primary cause. Getting rid of Soma is the only effective solution.

Even if you avoid Soma yourself, you will still face the negative effects of a society plagued by Soma.

[cedws]

That’s kind of the conclusion I came to. I can make changes in my life, but when everybody else is sucked in by social media and doesn’t even see the issue trying to build bridges is futile. The only person you can rely on is yourself, the sooner you can accept being alone the better. I lived in Japan for a while which is a much more solitary place than the UK. I think things in the West are going the same direction. More normalisation of solitary activities, increasing social distance, and fewer new families being started. Grim future.

[thephyber]

The end of this assumes the snowball fallacy.

Just because people appear to be doing more isolated things doesn’t mean it’s a ratchet that only moves in 1 direction. People adjust. When enough people feel too lonely, they will adapt and many of them will come up with a solution, likely swinging the pendulum in the other direction.

[cedws]

It is a ratchet though. South Korea's birth rate has been at an existential level for at least a decade and shows no sign of improving. Things won't improve while technology and tech companies are warping what it means to be human.

Now there's chatter about AI companions. If they take off and substitute real relationships it's game over. Swathes of the population will bed rot because they have no incentive to go outside for anything other than work.

[energy123]

I believe it's more likely to lead to political extremism and a positive (rather than negative) feedback loop.

[causal]

Yeah, lots of "change your habits" type responses that won't change the reason we're here.

[peterldowns]

> But how do we actively incentivize that?

Is immediately and completely solving the problem not a good enough incentive? If you go outside and interact, you will be much less lonely.

There is no barrier! You don't need to overthink this. Walkable cities third spaces etc., all great — but literally just go out and interact with people you can do it today many people do it to great success!

[bherms]

You're completely missing the point. The problem is people aren't collectively incentivized to do so. Individually someone can decide "oh wow, I'm lonely, I should get out more", but collectively there's nothing incentivizing everyone to do it, or even notice it's an issue. If there were, we wouldn't be in this situation.

---

"How do we solve the obesity problem?" "Well people should just work out."

Obviously, that would solve it, but they're distinctly not doing that, which is why we're talking about a broader solution to actually get people to work out.

[peterldowns]

> The problem is people aren't collectively incentivized to do so.

Yes, we are — please believe me that a LOT of people go out into the world and interact with each other. Doing so is extremely heavily incentivized by all of the wonderful and beautiful things that happen in the world all the time, both quotidian and sublime.

There is critical mass!

[bherms]

So then I guess it seems like you're rejecting the premise then that there's a loneliness epidemic?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loneliness_epidemic

I get what you're saying -- I leave my house more than most. But I think it's pretty clear we're trending away from that being the default.

[rustystump]

This is pretty spot on. It is like telling deug addicts to stop buying legal and unregulated drugs. Never gonna work.

Real change will require enforced regulation on the methods and tactics social media is allowed to use. Things like notification limits, rules on gamification, feed transparency, and more.

In the states this will never happen. The corporations own the rules.

[gulugawa]

Drive up demand for third places where people can meet new friends.

[nicbou]

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink

[TuringNYC]

>> But how do we actively incentivize that?

Pre-schedule it. Ideally recurring. Can be monthly. Possibly even bi-weekly. Agree on a time and do it on schedule. Pre-scheduling removes all the mental load of finding a time together.