[randysalami]

I agree strongly with this. My neurodivergence is a result of trauma. In some ways, I’m a broken person and my affinity with computers is a coping mechanism. Outsiders might see me as a successful person (and in some ways I am) but I will be saddled with this emotional debt for many years to come. When I was younger, I used to think so strongly of my condition, that it elevated me because it gave me the chance to achieve my dreams. Then I discovered the trap of covert narcissism.

It turns out that trauma unresolved doesn’t just get better because you make yourself stronger, smarter, and less approachable. Instead you make yourself an island, keep pushing others away, and you become miserable. A red flag is the idea of being “better” than someone, even if you are! A covert narcissist might to themselves think they are a better engineer than their coworker but because they are so “self-aware” be kind and accommodating. This is a tricky spot because that line of thinking still maintains an idea of inherent superiority and it festers.. all this to say is I think our field has a lot of traumatized engineers and I think being on computers and in your head playing God can be a breeding ground for narcissism, especially the covert form. I even think this is encouraged directly in the field with the way engineers get treated as unimpeachable and as superhuman in some companies (easier to manipulate and less qualms about exploiting their fellow man). Of course you have really smart people that are genuinely empathetic and humble but I think this is a dying breed in the field. And with these people, they can be very unassuming and go unnoticed on online discourse because they are so humble and self-aware.