[perfmode]

What your daughter is experiencing isn’t just disappointment. It’s the collapse of a worldview. She built her identity around a core belief: effort creates safety. That belief was scaffolding she stood on, and it just broke.

This is grief. Specifically, it’s the grief of losing trust in a covenant she thought existed between her and the world. The isolation, the crying alone, the withdrawal — these aren’t character flaws. They’re the nervous system’s response to having foundational assumptions shattered. Shame makes us hide. And when we believe we did something wrong (even when we didn’t), we hide from the people who love us most.

[thisislife2]

Great insight. And she is clearly depressed (person shows signs of deep sadness and hopelessness, withdraws from social activities and isolates themselves; has significant changes to sleep, appetite, and energy levels) so it is difficult for her to think clearly and move on to acceptance. (I'd say you too show the signs). Please take this test - https://fspcares.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Burns-Checkl... (PDF) - and encourage your daughter to do so as a first step. If she has severe depression, get her a therapist ( https://cares.beckinstitute.org/get-treatment/clinician-dire... ). As others have advised, she needs to learn new coping skills to make her more resilient to failures like these, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so as she is still in her youth.