[perfmode]

You can’t fix this for her, and trying to will likely push her further away. What you can do is be a steady presence that communicates: I see you. This is real. You are not diminished by this. And I’m not going anywhere.

Don’t try to reframe it positively yet. Don’t suggest she “pivot to AI” or “try startups.” She knows the tactical advice. What she doesn’t have right now is a felt sense that she still belongs — to her family, to the future, to herself.

The absence of decorations, the quiet — I understand the impulse. But consider: the ritual of showing up for each other despite the pain is itself medicine. Not pretending things are okay. Just being together in the not-okay. It’s different from performing normalcy.