It's not just you. Their graphic designer is clueless. He can draw pretty pictures, but has no idea how to deliver the message effectively. All it needs is a bullet list of what the app does and maybe a screenshot.
I really don't think it's that bad. Though I think they made a big mistake starting with the first entry on the right side. I read the second entry first, and kinda missed it.
Nothing wrong with being a bit creative, but they didn't nail that experience.