[esel2k]

Same age and while coming not from abuse but from difficult extreme-christian education I am torn between letting my parents have too much say in my life today. However as you say: I realise that my time with them is going to end and I don’t want them gone.

Wondering how you found a way to spend time with them and if you openly speaking about the limited time left and the past with them?

[AH4oFVbPT4f8]

I’m about the same age as you. I was raised in a strict christian home. For a long time, I thought that was normal. It wasn’t. I didn’t see it clearly until my late thirties, sitting in therapy for depression. That’s when I learned it was abuse.

The best thing my therapist told me was to cut off contact. I did. And I’ve never been happier. I’ve got my own family now. We live with love, not fear. We tell the truth. We don’t play mind games.

If my parents ever want to make peace, they’ll have to admit they were dishonest and tried to control me. But they won’t. They still say they did what they thought was best.

For me, I just look forward to the day I stop thinking about them, or the day I hear they’ve passed.

[esel2k]

I realised over the years that many friends of mine went through troublesome experience because of the faith of their parents. I genuinely believe my parents were A) trapped in a system B) wanted the best for their kids.

Having kids it would break my heart if they would cancel the contact - but at the end if parents can’t admit mistakes maybe as Christian they have not learned humility and asking for forgiveness- alao something is see my parents struggling. I am willing to forgive and forget - but I still see a same extreme conviction that what they do is all correct and they way to live in faith.

PS: Edit - I just saw you wrote: Love not fear! Thats so powerful- fear was the best description of our education as well and I am so sad about this… why did it has to come that far?!