| It sounds like you’re going through the motions and know what you need to do to achieve your goal, so what’s holding you back…? As I type this out, it’s cathartic. I also know the work that needs to be done, can do it precisely and expertly, with sales/productivity knowledge in pocket; but, I’m still can’t get myself to start. I know it’s important. The reality is that I’m afraid. Fearful it won’t work out. That I’ll get a “no” again. After pouring my heart and soul into something only to be rejected leaves some scar tissue. Or, I could put in one tenth of the effort because I think it’s hopeless. So the easier route for me is not thinking about it, and replying to a stranger on the internet. That’s self-sabotage: unproductive, and hurtful and it fuels this cycle of self-hate. Instead, I’m trying to be more kind to myself and give myself the grace of that of a friend. For one, it’s comforting that I’m in good company. Marcus Aurelius, the emperor of Rome, had this problem a thousand years ago. “If you do the job in a principled way, with diligence, energy, and patience, if you keep yourself free from distractions, and keep the spirit inside you undamaged, as if you might have to give it back and any moment— If you can embrace this without fear or expectation—can find fulfillment in what you’re doing now, as Nature intended, and in superhuman truthfulness—then your life will be happy. No one can prevent that.” - Meditations, Book 3 Why would he write this, if not to remind himself? Good luck |