| I "muddled through life" until I got diagnosed at 42 with inattentive ADHD. At that age the brain has already developed and meds are less helpful than when you are young. Even taking meds out of the picture, a diagnosis would have helped me a lot and not being diagnosed had very negative consequences. I was told to "brighten up" my whole life while growing up. My parents well not abusive - it's just that I had good grades at school, so they didn't understand why I struggled with tasks that were "simpler than school". I also struggled with social interactions. I ended up with very low self-esteem, thinking I was just "slower" or "more stupid" than others. Most teenagers try to find and define the final shape of their mind. I though the "real me" was an embarrassment that needed to be hidden. So during my teenage years I built a "mask" instead. ("Masking" is a psychological phenomenon, I have now learned) I am very good at "faking" not having ADHD now. Most of my friends and coworkers don't know. I can't mask all of my symptoms, though, nor all of the time. I can't "fake" not forgetting my car keys, or doing my taxes. I still wear my mask most of the time. Sometimes I don't know whether my wife got in love with me, or with the image I project of myself. I don't know if there's a "myself" any more. Also, ADHD has a genetic component. Having a diagnose for myself would have been useful before I had my son, who turned to have hyperactive ADHD. I love him to bits and I would not change him, but he's a handful. When he's off-meds he's almost intolerable. I would have had him nevertheless, but I would have had the right expectations. |
This seems like an underappreciated side-effect of awareness of these things. I can't imagine what some parents must feel - about themselves, and their kid - when raising a child with ADHD and not knowing much or anything about it.