[Rohansi]

This kind of thinking is wild to me. Apple is only enabling this behavior. It's the kids themselves who are excluding others by only using iMessage and shaming other kids for their green bubbles.

Nobody wants their kids to be bullied so I understand. But even worse than that I wouldn't want my own kid to be a bully. Kids are going to be a lot more likely to bully others if they befriend others who are bullying.

[crazygringo]

I think you're exaggerating or misunderstanding this.

It's not bullying or shaming by most kids. It's just, including SMS in an iMessage group chat is a terrible user experience. It's genuinely super annoying and breaks all the time. To the kids, the Android kid basically just has a broken phone. The kid won't get added to group chats because it doesn't really work.

If you give your kid an iPhone it's not going to turn him into a bully. That's absurd. It's just going to let him be included in the group chats where friendships grow and plans get made.

Don't make a poor kid suffer when there's no reason for it. Their suffering is not going to make Apple disable iMessage.

[Rohansi]

Look up green bubble bullying - it's a real thing.

> The kid won't get added to group chats because it doesn't really work.

Yes, but exclusion is a form of bullying. Apple is enabling it by making iMessage only work on Apple devices. There are many other messaging apps that are far better than SMS and are inclusive. It's better to encourage everyone to use one of those.

> Don't make a poor kid suffer when there's no reason for it.

It's quite literally the poor kids who suffer from things like this. It's not just fancy phones that they miss out on. Could be clothing brands, games, toys, etc. being used by kids to exclude others. Buying into everything is not a solution.

[crazygringo]

I didn't say bullying doesn't exist -- I'm saying it's not the case with most kids.

> It's better to encourage everyone to use one of those.

But if you can't succeed at this (and you won't), then don't make your poor kid suffer. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good.

> Buying into everything is not a solution.

No, but buying a few important things goes a long way. A cool pair of shoes isn't functional, but sharing the same communications platform is. And you can buy a lower-end used iPhone on eBay for next to nothing.

I have a parent who thought they were fighting a lot of these battles and on the "right side", and I was miserable because of it. Don't do this to your kid. Making friends is hard enough without a parent putting even more obstacles in the way.