[Thossndjsj]

If what you say is true, then why did no species evolve immortality?

What about people that give their lives to save others? Are they mentally ill as well?

And again this is what I mean. I don't have anyone close to me anymore outside of the ones in my care. That was a conscious decision to minimize any potential collatoral harm when I do die.

My previous friends have drifted off over the last 15 years from me intentionally neglecting those relationships. I have never had intimate relationships with anyone, I haven't spoken to my sibling in 22 years, and most of my kin lives continents away and to whom I have never even seen in my life.

Who exactly are these loved ones you think exist?

[WolfeReader]

The question: "Who exactly are these loved ones you think exist?"

The answer: "elderly relatives" "My previous friends" "my sibling" "my kin"

When you say, "That was a conscious decision to minimize any potential collatoral harm when I do die", it tells me that you were suicidal first, and lost contact with your friends and family second. You have all of those connections, and they will be devastated to learn that you took your own life without reaching out for help.

(I'm ignoring the first two paragraphs you posted - it's just pointless argumentation on your part that doesn't have anything to do with your illness.)

[Thossndjsj]

>I'm ignoring the first two paragraphs you posted - it's just pointless argumentation on your part that doesn't have anything to do with your illness.

No you're not ignoring it because it's irrelevant. You're trying to do so because you're afraid of what you'll find if you did seriously try to answer it. Because it brings shakes a foundational idea that human life is to be held sacred above all.

And that's fine, I'm not asking you to change your world view. What is irritating to me though is that you're inventing a carracature of me that doesn't exist.

Those connections that imagine exist, don't. The elderly relatives are the only ones that know I still yet live, and once they pass I too shall end.

But the kin you think cares about me, I can assure you, doesn't. We may share ancestors but that is all. They're all continents away, most don't know inexistance and none even know my name.

And the friends that I had were only due to proximity from school or work. How hard exactly do you think it was for me to cut them out of my life?

Because all I had to do was.... Nothing. I did nothing and they disappeared like the mist in the wind. We were never close. I never learned what their favorite food was, or when their birthday was, or the names of their spouse or children.

Perhaps they would be sad if they learned I passed. But who's going to tell them when they are in effect strangers to me now? I city I live in has hundreds of suicides a year and there's nary ever a whisper about it.

So again, what loved ones?

[WolfeReader]

"No you're not ignoring it because it's irrelevant. You're trying to do so because you're afraid of what you'll find if you did seriously try to answer it. Because it brings shakes a foundational idea that human life is to be held sacred above all."

Of the arguments you think I'm afraid of:

1. A person sacrificing their life for others is not mentally ill (assuming the sacrifice directly achieves the goal - i.e. taking a bullet for someone). It's an action which proves how much they value the lives of others. ...which has nothing to do with your suicide.

2. No species has evolved immortality because the goal of evolution is for each organism to live long enough to pass its genetic material to another generation. ...which has nothing to do with your suicide.

You gotta understand, I'm not trying to win an argument with you! If that was all I wanted, I'd wait 10 years and win by attrition.

Your brain is ill, and this then caused you to sever social connections and become suicidal. I am telling you to seek medical advice from medical professionals.

You claim to be operating just fine, so how about you go verify it in person with a doctor? Tell them what you told me, and see which of us they agree with?

If you don't, then we know which of us is "afraid".

[Thossndjsj]

I did. My family doctor was aware of my plan, and I can assure you he was quite unhappy about it.

Between him and the psychiatrist he got involved in my case I was on paxil, zoloft, lexapro, and prozac for about 4 years with no effect. And I did follow dosages correctly according to instructions. No change in my mindset, just the unpleasant side effects when we changed or discontinued my medications.

The family doctor eventually retired and the psychiatrist said that there was not much else that could be done. And that was the last time we met.

[WolfeReader]

Honestly, I'm glad you tried. I still hope you change your mind, but I can admit you made a solid case for yourself.