[zywoo]

This analysis is interesting, but I think there’s a small self-reference problem hidden in it: what exactly counts as an “impossible goal,” and who gets to decide that?

It’s obviously true that some people chase almost “fantasy-level” ambitions. But for most of us, the reason we keep going is that, somewhere in the background, we still believe our goals are possible, possible enough to justify the time, effort, and even psychological pain. If some external standard comes along and declares “this is impossible, you should give up,” that can reduce stress in the short term, but it may also plant a long-term regret that keeps growing with age.

Looking back on my own life, the goals I abandoned for internal reasons (“this no longer fits who I am / I don’t want to pay this price anymore”) are the ones I can live with. I learned from those failures and even feel a bit stronger because of them. The painful ones are the goals I dropped mainly because someone else convinced me they were impossible. Those still feel like open loops.

So maybe the more useful takeaway isn’t “giving up is good,” but: keep reassessing your goals realistically as you grow. If, after a sober look at your skills and constraints, you still feel a goal is worth the cost, then commit and try. At least when you’re old and sitting in a chair somewhere, you’ll be less haunted by “I never even gave it a shot.”

[armada651]

> So maybe the more useful takeaway isn’t “giving up is good,” but: keep reassessing your goals realistically as you grow.

This is ultimately what the article is talking about. It's not about giving up on your ultimate goal, it's about giving up on your current approach and finding other ways to progress towards your goal.

[ChrisMarshallNY]

This is what I got from it. It’s pretty much synonymous with how I approach things. I wouldn’t call it “giving up,” rather than “reviewing and adapting.”

Here’s a demotivational poster that comes to mind: https://despair.com/cdn/shop/files/stupidity.jpg

[mk89]

I like your advice. It's like setting some metrics on your own progress and happiness level.

On the other hand, sometimes without pushing, you won't be able to fully enjoy something "later".

Stupid example: learning piano or guitar. Which metrics would you use?

In addition, here the issue is also about children, not just grownups: when to stop paying for their "xyz" course? And how do you teach them when to stop/change?

If we're able to guess that right, I guess we can educate children better to have better grownups.

[germandiago]

I think combining being realistic (for the sake of sanity) with being ambitious (for the sake of going beyond the average) is a good hotspot.

For one, it avoids the psychological traps of frustration if you keep it realistic.

The other good thing is you will not sit down complaining andnyou will put your time on something that is worth.

You can fail or succeed, but with that mindset I think things go, at least, psychologically better.

I am not convinced at all that becoming just comfy and a conformist in itself is more healthy.

[jimbokun]

In tech bro speak this is similar to the idea of the "pivot".

If something isn't working, you can keep ramming into the same wall harder or you can try a different approach.