The phrase has been weaponized in the past many times. Some figures in the community are almost as far from "nice" as possible, but you're not allowed to call that out, because "it's not nice".
> but you're not allowed to call that out, because "it's not nice".
I don't know about the Ruby community, but I've seen this sort of complaint made about many other online spaces (including HN) and my general finding is that it simply isn't true. The problem is that for a proper call-out, both form and content matter, and most people in a mindset to make call-outs don't seem very interested in norms surrounding either of those things. Especially the part where part of good form is accepting that not all kind, well-meaning people have the same moral values and calculus.
Try calling out Python's inner circle politely while they are openly rude to you. You do know that you also have keep up the pretense of Kim Yong Un as a glorious and benevolent leader even if he imprisoned some of your relatives. This is a response to your generalization, I do not know anything about Ruby politics.
(I'm assuming this is a throwaway account from someone with some insight into the PSF, and not some random person who just happened to choose this subthread as an entry into participating in the HN community. If I'm wrong about that, I'd strongly urge you to reconsider your approach.)
> Try calling out Python's inner circle politely while they are openly rude to you.
...You do know who you're responding to, right? I have first-hand experience of that (https://zahlman.github.io/posts/2024/07/31/an-open-letter-to...). (Although I don't think most of their rudeness is intentional; it seems to come from a failure to understand that not everyone has the same social norms.) I spoke in generalities for a reason.
The current situation is ultimately mostly about callouts of DHH, which are happening all over the place (including here) and the form and substance of most of those callouts is... not good.
I don't know about the Ruby community, but I've seen this sort of complaint made about many other online spaces (including HN) and my general finding is that it simply isn't true. The problem is that for a proper call-out, both form and content matter, and most people in a mindset to make call-outs don't seem very interested in norms surrounding either of those things. Especially the part where part of good form is accepting that not all kind, well-meaning people have the same moral values and calculus.