| Next impression: The value proposition is murky. As a visitor to this page, I'm not immediately sure what I'm expecting to get in return for giving you my email address. What am I getting sold here? How is this going to change my life? Coupons and discounts... why do I want these? Are they for products and services that I actually use? Or am I supposed to pay you for the privilege of receiving other people's junky promotional spam? 75% discount... meaningless if there's no price attached. 75% off of a $2,000 fitness course? 75% discount off of a $2.99/mo webapp? The bullets are hard to read (see earlier comment about color scheme), and this is the only point at which you start promising things that start to get concrete. You do, however, identify and address some common fitness concerns here, which is good ("it takes too long", "the same workout gets boring over time", "do I have to join a gym?", etc.). "Get fit" is a weak promise, though. It's not concrete. How would someone know if they are fit? Is it being able to run a mile without collapsing from exhaustion? Running a marathon? Bench pressing 300lbs? What? Also, how do I know this is for me? Is this a product for men? For women? For young people? Old people? Busy people? Office workers? Housewives? The fitness market is huge and your competition is numerous and highly sophisticated. You will be far, far more successful as an upstart if you can laser-target your offering. It doesn't matter if it would work for everyone; "everyone" is a market that is much, much too expensive for you to reach. Once you are successful with your initial target market, you can leverage that experience to expand into others. Having testimonials is very, very good... but are they real? The first one has a woman's picture, but is improbably captioned "Aaron K." Clean that up for sure! Don't use fake testimonials. You'll probably get away with it, but it's dishonest, and who wants to risk getting sued by the FTC? The testimonials will also be much more powerful if you can get some concrete (i.e. objectively measurable) results into them. Before-and-after pictures are widely used in the fitness industry for a reason! To sell your product: 1) start with a laser-targeted market... get as specific as you possibly can; 2) find out these people's biggest pain points around fitness; 3) promise them an amazing (but realistic) concrete result that they will achieve by using your service; and 4) back it up with proof in the form of testimonials and samples. But on this particular landing page, it looks like you're just trying to capture leads in exchange for a bribe. The basic strategy is very good; if you can build a good relationship with your prospect list, you can sell them just about anything. But you will have ridiculously better results by instead giving people something they can use right now. Give them a free workout plan by email (or a week's worth of plans, dripped out over several days), just for signing up. With a little programming work, you could even give them a customized workout... take them to a web form where they enter some basic parameters like age, weight, fitness level, and then have a script that uses those selections to choose from several possible plans. If you send them something they can actually use immediately, that's much more valuable than vague offers of discounts, etc. It's actually compelling, especially if you do a good job of selling them on the benefits that your free workout plan is going to deliver to them (more energy, more mental clarity, higher self-confidence, more attention from the opposite sex... speak to whatever you know are the hot-button concerns of your market). This has more benefits for you than just getting the prospect onto your email list: they've now had an opportunity to sample your offering and receive real benefit from it, so they know you're for real, and hopefully, you've whet their appetite for more. (That rambled on longer than I expected; hope it's not too overwhelming. Send me an email if you want to go into depth on any of that.) |