[array_key_first]

It's not me, because I'm human, and that's not.

Why does that matter? Isn't it all the same? No, because I'm human, and I can make special exceptions for humans.

Isn't that perfect hypocrisy? Yes, but I'm human, and it's okay because I get to decide what's okay and I say it's okay because I'm human.

See also: why can I eat a burger but Jeffrey Dahmer went to prison?