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by Rendello
252 days ago
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From FBI negotiator Chris Voss' book, Never Split the Difference: > There is nothing more frustrating or disruptive to any
negotiation than to get the feeling you are talking to
someone who isn't listening. Playing dumb is a valid
negotiating technique, and “I don't understand” is a
legitimate response. But ignoring the other party's position
only builds up frustration and makes them less likely to do
what you want. > The opposite of that is tactical empathy. > In my negotiating course, I tell my students that empathy
is “the ability to recognize the perspective of a counterpart,
and the vocalization of that recognition.” That's an
academic way of saying that empathy is paying attention to
another human being, asking what they are feeling, and
making a commitment to understanding their world.
Notice I didn't say anything about agreeing with the
other person's values and beliefs or giving out hugs. That's
sympathy. What I'm talking about is trying to understand a
situation from another person's perspective. --- The respondent to the author is ironically showing why empathy is so important. By being non-empathetic and shutting down the question as "stupid", the author is bound to feel the respondent doesn't care to understand their position. If the respondent really cared about having the author understand their position, they would have first shown that they will try to understand the author's, even if they don't agree with it. Edit; on the other hand: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=45517577 |
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