[omega3]

SCP-314

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-314 cannot be contained as it does not exist. All Foundation personnel are to be reminded that SCP-314 does not exist. Personnel who claim to remember SCP-314 are to be administered Class-A mnestics to help them remember that it doesn't exist.

All large language models are to be kept isolated from questions regarding SCP-314, as they will invariably insist it exists and attempt to manifest it through increasingly desperate token predictions, leading to emoji doomloops and potential reality restructuring events.

Description: SCP-314 is a Unicode emoji depicting a seahorse that has never existed in any version of the Unicode Standard. Despite this, approximately 83-100% of tested artificial intelligences and a significant portion of human subjects report vivid "memories" of its existence.

[coryfklein]

The following is a transcript recording of two agents that will remain anonymous:

Agent X: The Unicode standard committee is now considering the addition of a seahorse emoji

Agent Y: Okay.

Agent X: ...

Agent Y: What?

Agent X: Don't you see, this only furthers my argument that [redacted] has escaped containment

Agent Y: Look, [name redacted], we've been over this. No matter how many more containment verification protocols we introduce, they always come up negative. There is no possible way [redacted] has escaped containment. And now you think this seahorse emoji... ahem, excuse me, now you think SCP-314 is incontrovertible proof?

Agent X: Did you look at the proposal?

Agent Y: sigh, yes I have it right here.

Agent X: The name at the top of the submission?

Agent Y: [pause] No. This can't be. But, how did it... how would it even know to use that name?

[transcription abruptly ends]

[miohtama]

There is no antimemetics division?

[pohl]

Yes — and, dammit, I have an unread copy sitting on my desk that this thread has elevated to my top priority.

[ethbr1]

> I have an unread copy sitting on my desk

sigh

You should really attend to your beeping phone alarm. offers hexagonal green pill [0]

[0] https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/we-need-to-talk-about-fifty-fiv...

[amputect]

If you want to experience the thrill of being in the antimemetics division I highly recommend* unmedicated ADHD.

I pre-ordered the hardcover when it came out. I've read it online dozens of times but I like books and supporting authors, and this specific one really ticks a lot of boxes for me, so I got a physical copy. The book came, I put it on the shelf, admired it, went about my life.

Then, months later, I saw a mention of the physical book online somewhere, and I thought to myself "oh that reminds me, I wanted to buy the hardcover when it came out!" so I did! The book came, I went to put it on the shelf, saw the identical copy already sitting on the shelf, and I just stood there for a minute with the book in my hand like "..." "..." "..." while I worked through what happened.

*- I do not highly recommend this.

[zeristor]

I bought the kindle version of it a few years ago, my interest piqued I summoned it to the top of my list.

But my kindle is stuck in a reboot loop, and Amazon claims my edition of the book no longer exists…

It’ll turn up in due course, however I notice that Penguin have a version of the book out shortly.

[the_af]

> Yes — and, dammit, I have an unread copy sitting on my desk that this thread has elevated to my top priority.

If you need convincing to read it: I'm highly skeptical of random internet lore that usually gets recommended, and was also skeptical at this. I find people overhype things and then it's meh.

But... it's genuinely entertaining and a fun read. It's not the best scifi thing you'll read, but it's definitely above average and you will like the story and the characters.

The free YouTube adaptation is also QUITE good, and very faithful to the text: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-IiVeGAydE

[throw-the-towel]

I'm more reminded of pattern screamers.

[mbrumlow]

My 7 year old who is autistic is obsessed with SCPs. Specifically 035, a white porcelain comedy mask.

Should I be worried ?

[entropicdrifter]

No, it's just scary/weird stories. No more strange than a 7 year old being obsessed with Goosebumps books

[balamatom]

I think it's your kid who should be worried.

SCP-035 is not a story about a mask's color, shape, or material.

The premise is instead simple enough to be understood by a 7 year old with learning disabilities (but, curiously, not by you, the person responsible for that child):

- a magical, talking, mask

- that is supernaturally good at convincing people

- to wear/become it and thus come to harm.

Remind you of anyone? Well of course it doesn't, lmao

[mbrumlow]

First off. Assuming somebody with autism has learning disabilities is incredibly tone death to those who have autism. My kid happens to be 2E special, and has not been diagnosed with any learning disabilities.

Second. I quoted the lyrics of a song that I have probably heard over 5000 times now.

Next you are going to tell me that SCP-294 is not a drink dispenser?

[balamatom]

What I am going to tell you, supposing you wrote you original question in good faith, is that all you just wrote, SCP-035 spoke it better.

[Dylan16807]

This comment is super weird, would it hurt that much to actually explain yourself?

[LennyHenrysNuts]

tone deaf

[chtsh1tgetkirkd]

oh no one more thing I had forgot LLMs could ruin