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by dceddia
254 days ago
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I’m coming to see the root is usually some kind of avoidance, always emotional, often subtle. I think this actually is pretty universal but the specifics vary wildly. It’s taken a while to unpack this. For a long time, when I’d about of a task I was avoiding, I’d just get this wave of a feeling of “ughhh” and turn away. There’s something the feeling is trying to warn me about, and sitting with it can help figure it out and let it go. A lot of my own stuff stems from school I think. The funny thing is it’s often totally illogical. Like a sense of panic comes up - “oh no! Someone will be mad I haven’t started this yet!” - yes well wouldn’t getting it done avoid that outcome? “no but it’s too late! They’ll yell at me when I turn it in!”. My brain associated “doing the task” with “getting in trouble” in a weird way, and that emotional program runs whenever something vaguely similar comes up. The surface-level fear might cover up a deeper fear underneath too (something like, I won’t be ok, or good enough, or loved anymore). All this emotional stuff has been a recent focus of mine ever since finding Joe Hudson’s work. There’s a good playlist on procrastination that’s relevant here: https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLrbct081G13-ot5FviKz1bt... |
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