| > And I could not think of anything. I've identified two approaches to this situation. One is to take the insult graciously, as though it's feedback: "Careful: you could put someone's eye out with that!" "Oh! Thanks for the reminder." (adjust the position of your head, as appropriate for your extremely large and dangerous nose) --- The other is to take whatever they said, and exaggerate it. This produces really good comebacks. (It's important to insist upon this point, regardless of any evidence you might receive to the contrary.) "Careful: you could put someone's eye out with that!" "Oh, could I? Well, your entire face is bad." If they respond with another insult, repeat the same strategy. They'll notice what you're doing after the second or third attempt, and then it will turn from "this person's bad at comebacks" into "this person's (pretending to be) bad at comebacks and it's funny". "My face is bad? Is that the best you could come up with?" "Your face is so bad that it makes everyone else's faces bad, too." "But… that means your face is also bad." "And whose fault is that? It's your fault. Specifically, the fault of your face. Which is bad." "Still means you've got a big nose." "Well you've got a small nose." "No I don't. We've got the same sized noses." "Thus invalidating your previous aspersion that my nose is unusually large. Who's bad at comebacks now?" "Still you." --- There's a third approach, if the insult is disguised as faux-concern: pretend you're taking it seriously, while exaggerating the characteristic they're concerned about. "Hey, you having trouble seeing past that, mate?" "Oh, no, it's alright: most of my vision is unobstructed." / "I've got some tape in my bag if I need it." / "It's no worse than binoculars." |
This gave me quite a chuckle. Reads like a comeback from GPT-2 =P
A proper comeback in this scenario perverts the characteristic into a positive trait, with some added denigration.
"That's what lets me keep a wide berth from your mom, I can smell her a mile away".