[dmesg]

Quote:

> Why else would someone be so anxious about how others see them?

The scientific consensus would tell the author that judgement in humans happens already the moment they see a person and it is immediate, even if the person not doing anything:

https://www.nature.com/articles/srep40700

>across three studies, we find that first impressions [...] made from thin slices of real-world social behavior by typically-developing observers are not only far less favorable across a range of trait judgments compared to controls

Edit:

Okay this was completely misunderstood. My point was that the "normal" people in the study immediately internally know if to like or not like a person. Hence why first impressions DO matter the most. Which is why I simply disagree with the argument in the OP that anyone has control over their perception.

You also cannot win people over if the most respected person in a group dislikes you. The others will follow boot.

[erikerikson]

This study seems to look at a different dynamic than seems under discussion in the article.

[dmesg]

The article describes how neurotypical people, i.e. the average Joe would come up with a decision to like or not like a person based on first impressions before the person being judged even talks. Fairly sure in an article about how people are thinking how they are perceived by others this is relevant. But I get it can upset people that it is out of their control entirely.

[erikerikson]

I disagree. I think the article is about the motivations of people with social anxiety. I'd agree it makes assumptions and paints with a broad brush but it feels relevant to some of the socially anxious people I know.

[dmesg]

I edited and rephrased a lot of my posts and the other replies and maybe my though process is clearer now. I didn't word it all too well, forgive me for not being a native, I struggled to bring my point across in an enunciated way.

[erikerikson]

Thank you for the improvements, I think it does read better now. Thank you for making the effort to converse in a second language.

I still think you are making a point that feels orthogonal to the article. The author presents (supported by public expressions of the opinion) that some people believe social anxiety is based on wanting to be liked. While to that point your study indicating that autistic people may be at a disadvantage on the getting people to like them front, the author is then rejecting that proposition (i.e. that the socially anxious are actually concerned about avoiding dislike). I suppose your point can be understood relevant there too, in that for the autistic population, the baseline "disliked" level is higher. However, the article remains about the internal focus of those with social anxiety (whether it over generalizes or not) between "liked" and "not disliked" which seems orthogonal to any baseline "likability" considerations for one or any other sub-population.

[edit: s/"liked" level is lower/"disliked" level is higher/ for higher congruence with context]

[layer8]

I don’t think the article is about autism.

[dmesg]

Curious, yet the most people suffering from anxiety as secondary comorbid psychiatric condition are the depressed, autistic and ADHD sufferers.

The article is definitely a mental health topic. A little harmless stage fright before a presentation is not real clinical generalized anxiety and affects most normal people.

[nemomarx]

You can be diagnosed with GAD or social anxiety disorders without being autistic. The comorbidity isn't total.

I think there's a good question about whether people can tell you're anxious at a glance but worrying about that will make your anxiety much more visible.

[dmesg]

> I think there's a good question about whether people can tell you're anxious at a glance

Which is why I linked the nature article? It's plain obvious an interesting point I tried to make that "normal" people will instantly perceive someone as likeable or unlikeable. Which the article in the OP goes great lengths to discuss.

I mean I can live with people immediately going against my point, I just see they didn't even gave it 5 minutes of thought. Which is not necessarily directed at you, I cannot possibly convince anyone and reply to anyone at the same time.

[layer8]

Social anxiety is significantly more prevalent in the general population than autism. So sure, the article may be less applicable to people with autism, who have other visible symptoms besides what comes from “mere” social anxiety.