[pengaru]

Dude you're being way too hard on yourself and fixating on the wrong thing (form) as a self-imposed barrier to progress.

I'm guessing you're overweight if you're under 10 pushups. Just do what you can, do them daily, forget the form, the key at this point is to develop the habit of routine and the self-discipline to stick to doing the physical and annoying thing on a daily basis.

Beyond that focus on nutrition so your weight is reeled in, the pushups become easy when your weight is normal.