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So when somebody says a language is "slow" ... he picks arbitrary and unspecified parameters fitting what he wants the result to be, and then declares he was right?

That's natural language for you, but if you try to understand what the assumptions are behind a statement then you have a good chance of coming to an agreement.

"It's a nice day today"

"Actually, a day is a unit of time it's the weather that is nice"

That's what you are doing.