[rhubarbtree]

TIL misophonia.

I’ve realised in recent years that I’m quite far on the spectrum. Very obvious when I was young but am exceptionally good at masking now so most people don’t realise.

Nowadays I experience misophonia in “attacks” that just come on. Recently I was on public transport and the noise was suddenly so unbearable that I had to get the hell out of there, hadn’t really felt like that since I was a kid. Fight or flight feeling. When I was a kid I had a lot of hearing tests as a result, ASD was not on anyone’s radar.

Didn’t realise this had a name.

[idiotsecant]

I also thought I was exceptionally good at masking. Turns out I was exceptionally good at showing a differently weird version of myself that was still quite clearly weird.

[boogieknite]

my sister has this which led to many awful fights that i didnt understand. now i send this graphic to people in order to describe it: https://scontent.fhio2-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t1.6435-9/130843014...

[whatevertrevor]

This is a question out of genuine curiosity and not intended to minimize misophonia in any way:

I do not see any examples of a "naturally occurring" sound there. Is the sound supposed to be human generated in some way? That would feel a bit incongruent with my understanding of it as a pure stimulus response situation.

[ygjb]

Yes, natural sounds do trigger it (for me). The difference is that if it is a natural sound, it becomes a problem to be solved - intermittent dripping from taps, the noise of the wheel in my daughters hamster enclosure, or something tapping a window are specific cases I can cite. Those incidents resulted in a) me learning how to replace a leaking faucet assembly (the taps and faucet were one unit) , b) upgrading to a better, quieter hamster wheel, and c) trimming a tree.

When people are the cause it becomes more challenging. People feel attacked when you tell them they are chewing loudly, or they think you are weird when you complain about the sound of the specific pen they are using makes when they are writing on the paper bothers you. Couple misophonia reactions with ADHD justice sensitivity and the emotional reaction can overload my rational comprehension that it is quite normal to make, tolerate, and ignore those sounds to make the stupid fucking meat between my ears feel like I am being targeted by whoever is making the noise. 95% of time I can manage it, but when it gets overwhelming my reactions can be suboptimal (like, wildly inappropriate when I was a kid, but as an adult pulling an Irish goodbye and just leaving, which can be a career limiting move when you are in the workplace).

[rhubarbtree]

Not sure whether you'd consider it natural, but I first noticed this with the sound of running taps. The bathroom was next door to my bedroom and I'd often get up and turn the taps off if someone left the bath running... not sure if anyone ever noticed!

Not sure if it's the same for everyone, but for me it's caused by an over-focus on the sound. Once I've noticed it, it's like the sound gets louder and louder...

[edit] I'm fairly sure my Dad was on the spectrum, and the sounds young kids make would make him very distressed, shouting or banging etc. so I don't think it's synthetic vs natural sounds.

[boogieknite]

interesting observation your sibling also made. its commonly described as making the sufferer IRATE at the person causing of the sound which matches your comment

anyone who experiences willing to shed light? id guess if the sufferer expects we all dislike certain sounds, causing them intentionally is especially hateful?

[fluoridation]

Another observation is that they're either idle sounds (pen clicking, finger tapping) or necessary secondary sounds made during some activity. It's literally impossible to unwrap a piece of candy without making some noise, and damn near impossible to stir a liquid without the stirrer hitting the container once.

>id guess if the sufferer expects we all dislike certain sounds, causing them intentionally is especially hateful?

I think it's pointless to attempt to look at it rationally, given the reactions I've heard seem entirely irrational and disproportionate.

I remember one time I was at work and a coworker on the opposite end of the room was using what I thought was the exact same model of mechanical keyboard I was using, with blue switches. I had never realized just how loud those things were until then. I kept glancing at him and could feel myself getting unreasonably annoyed, but I really had no grounds to say anything under any circumstance, given I had been using those very same switches in that same office very recently. What really struck me was how the same noise would sound pleasing when I made it and annoying when someone else made it, and I wondered if I had bothered someone with my typing, or if it was just me. I don't know if I'll use my own keyboard with clicky switches if I share an office with someone again.

[imp0cat]

Silent keyboards (and mice!) are a blessing; and not just in an office environment.

[fluoridation]

I wanted to repair a HyperX mouse, but the switches I needed weren't available. I bought ones on a gamble because they were cheap, but they didn't fit, so I gave them away to a friend, and he used them to mod a cheapo mouse. It felt wrong to me for the clicks to make so little noise. He seemed happy with it, though.

[lupire]

That's like hearing one side of a phone conversation, where the utterances are nonsensical because you are missing half the context

When you are typing, the clicking is concordant with your finer movements and the text you are writing. When someone else is typing, it's not.

[fluoridation]

Interesting how they're all noises people make. It's not chirping birds, or running motors, or anything that could occur when no one else is around.

[mitthrowaway2]

This was an interesting piece on misophonia. It seems like it goes beyond just the sounds alone and it may depend on a perception of intentionality behind the sound.

https://www.astralcodexten.com/p/misophonia-beyond-sensory-s...

[magicalhippo]

My SO has misphonia, and strongly reacts to many sounds I make like smacking while eating or tapping my foot while thinking. She can also react strongly to noises outside the home, like if a car idles loudly outside.

She works in a kindergarten, and so I asked how she tolerates all those kids making noises while eating and such, given how adverse she is towards the sounds I make.

She said it didn't bother her the slightest as she knew the kids couldn't help it, and the reason my smacking annoyed her for example was because she knew it could be avoided if I just were more careful.

[boogieknite]

great share. the authors so introspective it almost seems like a straw man vehicle. i mean that in a good way, i think? not used to people writing about their shortcomings matter-of-factly like this

[fluoridation]

As in, something designed to facilitate setting up misrepresentations of other people's arguments? That doesn't sound like a good thing.

[lupire]

Now I need a screechy audio that explains the "misovisia" I experience from seeing that graphic.

[rhubarbtree]

omg tick tick tick.

Does everyone have this to some extent? Or is it really only a thing neurospicy folks experience? I have to run away from my wife when she's chewing loudly sometimes, the rage is real.

I've just realised that my hatred of foly in films is another symptom (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foley_(sound_design)) - can't watch films where this is overdone.

As others mentioned, noise cancelling headphones bring me so much peace.

[R_D_Olivaw]

I carry silicone putty ear plugs with me pretty much all the time.

They are very squishy and I can place then in my ear and depending on how thick I make them, they have varying levels of blocking out sound. Super useful if I want extra blocking or just a little light blocking so I can still hear things around me, but dampened.

They have been a life changer for me. The best kind I've found are Mack's. Maybe they would help you too.

[beacon294]

Ahh I can't stand that pressure feeling, makes me take them out instantly!!

[freehorse]

ANC over-the-ear headphones can also do a very good job against certain kinds of noises, esp in higher frequences.

[beacon294]

I use sony xm5 over ear if tha's the kind of product you mean? I want something overear for running and lifting though... I sweat a lot.

[joshcsimmons]

I gaslit myself over it for so long. It makes me see red when I hear open-mouth chewing noises. Totally illogical.

[sfink]

Oh wow, I was just feeling grateful that I don't have misophonia, but then you had to mention chewing noises. I had that for decades. It wasn't all the time, but it didn't have to be loud or open-mouth or anything. It would just switch on and I couldn't hear or think about anything else. I daydreamed doing violent things to make the person stop, even when I logically knew it wasn't even slightly loud or unusual or ill-intentioned.

It almost never happens anymore, thankfully. Once every other month or so.

(Note that I am not autistic, or at least undiagnosed and my guess is that I wouldn't be. I just have some fairly mild autistic tendencies. I have a toe on the spectrum, or something. Those tendencies have a pretty dramatic impact on my life, but I think in a mostly neurotypical way -- we boring people can have similar problems too!)

[SchemaLoad]

I have to feel that most people find this unpleasant to some level since "eat with your mouth closed" is such universal manors that gets drummed in to you as a child. But I guess the difference is if you find it gross vs if it sends you in to a fuming rage at the smallest exposure.