[al_borland]

I have a feeling a lot of people are comparing where their parents ended to where they are starting, which isn’t a fair comparison. They should probably talk to their parents about what it was actually like. When my parents got their first apartment it didn’t even have a shower. They had to take baths and use a mug to fill it with water and wash their hair.

People also just love looking at averages for salary and home price, but they ignore that the average home has more than doubled in size. The average car today is also much faster, safer, and more luxurious than the old ones.

I bought a house from the late 1940s. What would have been “average” in the time everyone seems to want to compare themselves to. By most modern standards, it’s small, but it was also half the price of the “average” home today.

In terms of waiting for financial stability, I’d argue that it’s better not to wait. It eliminates all those prenuptial agreements, as neither person has anything. Then they can grow and a couple together. Wait too long, and they enter the relationship with too much that they’re worried about losing, and also more set in their ways.

The obsession with keeping up with the Jones’ has gotten out of control. The Jones’ aren’t just the most well-to-do on the street, now people are trying to compete on lifestyle with the most well-to-do in the country. Just a couple days ago I had someone knock on my door to sell fiber internet and he tried to tell me I need it to keep up with the Jones’. That’s where we’re at. It’s not about what you actually need, it’s what you can brag about. It’s so backward.

[Spivak]

> People also just love looking at averages for salary and home price, but they ignore that the average home has more than doubled in size. The average car today is also much faster, safer, and more luxurious than the old ones.

Capturing this dynamic is why the BLS has a hard job. If you can't buy a small shabby house in the area where you work and you can't buy a cheap car with no amenities and safety standards from 20 years ago then you're effectively poorer if you wanted that. All new housing construction in my area is giant houses and luxury apartments with no end in sight. According to the builders (because they make deals with the city who want to know why they can't make affordable housing) the economics don't work out otherwise.

[toomuchtodo]

~40-50% of first marriages end before death in divorce (the number rises for second and third marriages). Prenuptials are important so when the marriage ends, it ends financially amicably and both parties can go on their own ways without much economic impact. Contracts are made during good times for when there is conflict to resolve.

Married almost 20 years myself, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, even though we are very happy together. There is just too much risk, most of your outcome is luck. I was lucky, as are others whose marriage lasts until death, but many are not. Date, love, explore, connect, enjoy lengths of a shared timeline together, but don’t get married. It’s a potentially unnecessary property and tax optimization agreement.

(the poly people I know use LLCs to manage shared property ownership and operating agreements, which seems to work without much issue, power of attorney and other legal instruments are available for medical directives, authority, and access between partners)

[billy99k]

"Married almost 20 years myself, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone, even though we are very happy together. There is just too much risk, most of your outcome is luck. I was lucky, as are others whose marriage lasts until death, but many are not. Date, love, explore, connect, enjoy lengths of a shared timeline together, but don’t get married. It’s a potentially unnecessary property and tax optimization agreement."

I've been married for 15 years myself. Like most things, luck comes to the prepared. When you are dating someone, you can tell within a year or two if you will be compatible in the long term.

Everyone in my friend group has been married for 10 years+ with no hints of divorce. We were all unmarried when we met. I don't think this is luck.

"(the poly people I know use LLCs to manage shared property ownership and operating agreements, which seems to work without much issue, power of attorney and other legal instruments are available for medical directives, authority, and access between partners)"

The poly people I know are always moving from one complete mess to another in terms of mental/emotional states. You aren't recommending marriage, but think a 'poly' relationship is any better?

[vrighter]

they built their own house for €25k. And only my dad worked.

I bought a much smaller place for over €200k. Both me and my girl (need to) have full time jobs.

There is a big difference between where they started vs where I did. I will never get to where they started from

[Bukhmanizer]

> They had to take baths and use a mug to fill it with water and wash their hair.

Gasp surely not baths, however did they live?

> fiber internet and he tried to tell me I need it to keep up with the Jones’

You think the kids today can’t afford houses and families because they’re buying too much fiber internet.. and bragging about it?

You just sound horribly out of touch and given your anecdotes don’t know what poverty or hardship was back in the day or is today.

[al_borland]

I wasn’t mentioning fiber internet as a reason people couldn’t afford a house. I mentioned it as a recent example I personally ran into, where keeping up with the Joneses was explicitly given to me as a selling point, and I found it ridiculous. If people are worried about this on something as trivial as internet speed, it’s going to carry through to where they live, the car they drive, the clothes they wear, etc.

[billy99k]

"You think the kids today can’t afford houses and families because they’re buying too much fiber internet.. and bragging about it?"

Small things add up. When you buy the latest phone, best Internet connection, booze, weed, latest video game, and online subscriptions, You certainly can't save for a house. Many of the younger generation are really in an extended state of childhood.

I'm not even close to a boomer, and sacrificed all of these things to save for a house/my future. While I was doing this, friends I knew had the latest phone, went partying every weekend, and spent money on their hobbies.

Guess who can't afford a house now?

"You just sound horribly out of touch and given your anecdotes don’t know what poverty or hardship was back in the day or is today."

It sounds like you don't either.