[okdood64]

Thank you for this. This is precisely my issue with public transport in the US (granted my experience has only been in SF, Oakland, NYC and Chicago).

It’s emotionally taxing when you need to keep your guard up all the time. I can’t even imagine how much worse it would be on someone if they had kids to tow around as well.

[oldjim798]

How is driving not emotionally taxing the exact same way? Driving with my kids is fucking terrifying. I have 2 under 6, and I have to lock them into these giant car seats to keep them safe (to be clear I like modern car seats, their designs just remind me how vulnerable kids are). Every time I go through a intersection I worry what happens if someone runs the red and smashes into our side.

I no longer speed when I drive because I want the kids to be safe and the insane rage other drivers send our way because I'm going 40 km/hr on a 40 km/hr road. I've had driver try to force us off the road, tail gate us hard, pass us across double yellow lines, scream at us.

Driving is exhausting.

[rcpt]

And when they get a bit older you need to stay in the house all day trying to keep them off the worst parts of the Internet because cars have completely destroyed kids freedom

[SilverElfin]

> Every time I go through an intersection I worry what happens if someone runs the red and smashes into our side.

Something like this is a lot more rare than harassment on public transit. And not exactly avoidable. So it isn’t worth thinking about. But on public transit you have to maintain constant vigilance just to avoid the many bad situations that could come your way. You’re very exposed and vulnerable. The crime rates on transit are after everyone puts in the effort to avoid being a victim.

[alistairSH]

Two thoughts...

Is it actually true that car accidents are far more rare than harassment on the subway? I don't take public transit enough to comment (there is none here).

Car accidents have a much higher likelihood of maiming or killing me. Even if they're more rare, I would posit (but don't have numbers) that the total cost to society (including property damage) is MUCH higher.

[Zigurd]

Data point: I've been in two car wrecks. Once as a passenger where the driver spun it on the Mass Pike to 128 ramp, and once when I got T-boned on my way home from having my car serviced. That was my favorite car. Nobody's ever bothered me on public transport. Not on the MBTA, not on MBTA, Metro North, or LIRR commuter rail, not on Amtrak to New York, not on the New York public transit systems.

[potato3732842]

I've been in two accidents and been in the car where a fight broke out on the red line twice.

And I've been driving a hell of a lot more than the years I rode the subway....

[vkou]

> I've been in two accidents and been in the car where a fight broke out on the red line twice.

Were you an active participant in the fights?

If not, wouldn't the fair comparison be a count of how many car crashes you have driven past?

[oblio]

It's not just about crashes. It's also about close calls (in both directions, being hit and hitting others), people driving while checking their phones, rude drivers: tailgaters, honkers, high beamers, etc. The list is endless.

Oh, and my God, the mind numbing boredom.

[potato3732842]

Because if you don't suck your have bad interactions monthly or less and when you do have them they're pretty easy to explain away in a way that doesn't involve the other guy having malice or whatever.

Maybe try going whatever speed the rest of the traffic is going. Less ire will be directed at you if you're not everyone's problem point.

[alistairSH]

I can make most of the same arguments about driving.

People run red lights, they speed, they swerve, they get in fender-benders and flee, they honk, they smoke weed and drink vodka while they drive. All illegal, all common occurrences. And I live in a wealthy, safe suburb.

[matwood]

When I lived in a pretty wealthy suburb some of the most dangerous people around were those driving home from the bar.

[afavour]

I take my kids on the NYC subway very often. It isn't emotionally taxing because the vast, vast majority of journeys encounter no issues at all. What you're describing is a self inflicted state of mind.

I don't drive as often but I've run into far more potentially dangerous situations driving on the highway with my kids than I have on the subway.

[insane_dreamer]

I’m much more worried about my teenager driving than I am him taking public transport.