[exoverito]

Gay male marriages remarkably have the lower divorce rates than heterosexual marriages, while lesbian female marriages have higher divorce rates. Multiple studies show that lesbians consistently have far higher divorce rates than gays. This implies a level of neuroticism with females, that they probably do need to be appeased more, and that if you have two needy people who need to be appeased it's probably not going to be a good dynamic.

[owenversteeg]

I don't think it's that simple. Sure, it's true that the lesbian divorce rate is far higher than the gay male divorce rate, and sure, it could be from personality differences between men and women. Women do indeed score consistently much higher on neuroticism (+half a SD from a 26-country review [0]!), but they also score substantially higher on two of the other FFM traits (agreeableness and conscientiousness) which you would expect to reduce divorce. Like a sibling comment mentioned, gay men earn more money, which reduces divorce rates. Then there are all the factors that are hard to put a number on, like the stereotype of "u-haul lesbians" - which the lesbians I know consider to be an accurate stereotype. That would obviously play a large role here. Married gay men also have a far higher rate of open marriages.

Also, if anyone has some quality data on this subject, I would love to hear it. A lot of the data out there is from tiny and poorly-designed "studies" or public datasets rehashed by ideologically motivated organizations, which makes sense; it's a very emotionally charged and political subject. The UK Office of National Statistics has some good data: https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsde...

Other interesting hot button gender war topics: gay men vs gay women vs straight couples collaborating and communicating, rates of adultery and abuse, and adoption outcomes.

n.b. anytime you read something on the subject, you need to take note if you are reading statistics normalized to the sex ratio of same-sex marriages; for example 78% of same-sex marriage in Taiwan is between women vs. 45% in Costa Rica and 53% in the US. https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/06/13/in-places...

[0] https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.81.2.322

[lelanthran]

> Sure, it's true that the lesbian divorce rate is far higher than the gay male divorce rate,

Last I checked, it wasn't just divorce, it was also domestic abuse. Lesbian relationships had twice the domestic abuse rates of heterosexual relationships, which had twice the domestic abuse rates of male gay relationships.

Can't find it on the CDC site anymore, now.

[viridian]

I wonder how this interacts with the fact that women initiate 80% or so of divorces. I'm not sure it says anything about appeasement, but if you have two people who are each 4x more likely to initiate a divorce than two other people, then this outcome has to be almost certain, no?

[cm2012]

Funnily enough, male gay marriages also have by far the lowest domestic violence rate, and female gay marriages have the highest!

[fwip]

Reported rate. Gay men, like straight men, often underreport being victimized by their partners.

[unkeen]

I'm afraid reasons for breakups (and relationships in general) are not quite that simple.

[exoverito]

Perhaps, yet your comments are quite simple, indicating you are not up to the task of understanding these matters.

[unkeen]

Why the ad hominem? It seems like you are one of the men unable to stand corrected, funnily enough for this thread.

[exoverito]

It's about establishing credibility. You didn't respond with any data or interesting information. Your comments are simplistic, betraying a level of simplicity in your thinking.

I actually enjoy being correctly corrected, however being incorrectly 'corrected' is obviously annoying. Like being lectured by a haughty child, see Louis CK's bit of his daughter insisting they're called Pig Newtons.

Best of luck to you in life.

[fwip]

Interesting. I know that gay men also make considerably more money than gay women, and having more wealth is associated with a lower rate of divorce, which sounds like a plausible explanation to me. I don't know if the numbers check out, though.