[ulfw]

I'd be deeply annoyed if someone I haven't seen or talked to in years did that to me.

Like dude... if I was important to me you'd have talked to me long ago. I am obviously not - that's totally fine. Then at least start with some minor small talk pleasantries before you get to what you actually want.

[losvedir]

Would you say that, or would you play along? Would you hold your "deep annoyance" as a permanent grudge? If you'd play along and not hold the grudge indefinitely then from their perspective you'd appear just like the (in my opinion more reasonable) friends who appreciated it, and so it's probably better to assume that situation.

[ulfw]

I forgive everyone once by default

but if I won't hear from him again for years and all of a sudden he texts me without any care then yea I'd hold that grudge and try to get him out of my life