[Fwirt]

This is exactly my experience. I got diagnosed as some variant of bipolar 9 years ago and put on a mood stabilizer, but the symptoms never really fit. I’m in general high functioning and got great grades up through postsecondary, didn’t start really having a problem until I started experiencing burnout after having kids during the pandemic. Got evaluated for ADHD, psychiatrist focused on childhood symptoms. Refused to prescribe anything for ADHD because ADHD meds can cause manic episode in bipolar patients, they put me on Wellbutrin instead. Wellbutrin (which affects different people very differently) caused me to have a crisis and spent a week in inpatient care at a non-Kaiser facility.

It was the best thing that has happened to me in years. Inpatient psychiatrist disagreed with the bipolar diagnosis and said that inpatient care was a safe space so we could try Adderall and a different antidepressant (Lexapro). On Adderall I feel calmer, less anxious, and if I’m tired it actually puts me to sleep, which is all in line with ADHD patients. I can focus at work again and have my life back.

I don’t feel like I’ve “lost” anything on Adderall, I would describe my experience with ADHD as having a buggy thread scheduler that would overallocate CPU time to background threads. On Adderall I feel like I have control again. I can still daydream, but all 5 trains of thought are not trying to enter the station at the same time.

I’ve had 3 different Kaiser psychiatrists and all have been sub-par, refusing to re-visit prior diagnoses, being aggressive and overly rigid in their own opinions, and sometimes just being plain incompetent. My recommendation is to seek mental health care from somewhere outside Kaiser that accepts Kaiser insurance. Kaiser’s mental health division is oversubscribed and probably underpaid. Overall our experience with Kaiser has been that no matter which division you’re dealing with, you have to be pushy and advocate for yourself or they’ll just slap the easy label on you and throw medications at the problem that may or may not actually address the root cause.

I’m very open about my experience because mental health issues are highly stigmatized in this country and there are a lot of people who don’t get the care they need. Accepting that I needed inpatient care was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done, but coming out the other side it was nothing but a positive experience and I feel like I have my life back.