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by TheCapeGreek 310 days ago
Fake it till you make it.

"Be yourself" is not wrong, but it's not specific enough.

You can be perfectly authentic, but that doesn't mean being socially uncalibrated.

Get good at being sociable, then blend that with your personal tastes and preferences.

I thought "be yourself" was fine until I grew up and learned I was just being rude to most people and called myself introverted when I didn't make friends.
2 comments
sebastianconcpt 310 days ago
"Be yourself" works when you're awesome already (and keep performing).

So it's not useful advice for most that need to build yourself up to something that performs decently, nicely or awesomely (the most you can).

And Fake it till you make it is an awful expression (encourages posing and faking is legitimate when is not by definition) to communicate that you just need practice to obtain a level of performance.

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rsaarelm 310 days ago
> Fake it till you make it.

What are you trying to make though? You're pretending to want the same things the people you think you need to fit in with want, but if you don't actually want those things, what point is there to be in a competition to get them?

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skydhash 310 days ago
Social skills is moslty compromises. It’s kind of a protocol that signals that you’re not unfriendly, and if you’re part of a community, that you’re ready to pitch in, when someone or the entire community needs help.
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wizzwizz4 310 days ago
Surely it would be simpler to identify who in the community actually needs help, help them, and gain a reputation thereby? Honest signalling works well among humans, in my experience.
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skydhash 310 days ago
it may be. But how are you going to identify who needs help? And if that someone is willing to accept help (pride and/or shame can be powerful blocker)?
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TheCapeGreek 310 days ago
Humans are social creatures. If you truly don't have the same desires as most - friendship, companionship, even career gain - then sure, it's purposeless. But why are you even in this thread then? If you clearly are actively dis- interested in this topic. Otherwise, skydhash is correct - it's about compromise.
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