[scarface_74]

Well it’s dumb to prostrate myself for people that hate me. Black people for decades since MLK have been told by the old guard to let folks beat them and they will eventually be nice to them.

Now unfortunately liberals of all stripes think the same metaphorically. The people they are trying to extend a hand to are about retribution and cheering a leader who does so.

It’s about as banal as the “thoughts and prayers” can change things on the right.

You noticed that none of the people giving this advice here are minorities, trans, etc reaching out to people?

[em-bee]

You noticed that none of the people giving this advice here are minorities

well, that's trivially proven wrong by daryl davis himself. and there are others. of course most of them don't make the kind of publicity that it would take for us to find out about them. it is also easier to work in a group instead of as an individual. if you search you will find black communities doing outreach and seeking dialogue.

[scarface_74]

Yes and it’s trivially proven wrong by Bill Gates that if I dropped out of school I could have become a billionaire…

And you still haven’t answered the question…have you reached out to people who hate you for who you are and tried to make friends with them?

And how often have you sat around having drinks with a group of successful, upper middle class Black people (well statistically well in the 80th-90th percentile income wise) who think it’s their responsible to change hearts and minds? I can guarantee you we all live our lives and spend no time worrying about rural America and their petty grievances.

The same is true when I go home to south GA for family get togethers. They are irrelevant to us.

Just to be absolutely clear, I’m an advocate for universal health care, better educating opportunities etc that uplifts everyone and have plenty of conservative non-MAGA friends.

[em-bee]

look, all i am saying is that if you want the world to change, you have to do something about it yourself. if you feel like you can't, then that's up to you. other people not caring and not doing anything is not an excuse. if everyone used that excuse then nothing would get done. and perhaps that is the reason why progress is so slow. to many people are just blaming others. if you want change you need to start with your own person. and again, i am not saying that you should talk to people that hate you directly all on your own. you are not the only one who wants change. that's a community project. so build a community. that's what i am doing where i am. and then as a community we can approach the haters.

the problem here is your negative attitude. it's self defeating. and your apparent lack of care for others. why? you think the grievances or rural america are petty? why? and how do you think you could get them to change that? if we want a better world then we need to address everyones grievances. either by actually solving them or empowering them to solve them for themselves or by getting them to change their minds about them. and again, i am not saying that you should do this by yourself. that's not something any individual can do on their own.

you also don't need to get directly involved with people who are not around you. but you could change your own attitude about it and you can encourage others to share that attitude. one by one, people will get up and start doing something. if you just sit there and complain then nothing will change.

the most important part though is to not give up. the first steps are the hardest. changing your own mind and developing the courage and desire to do something, against all odds. finding the first few friends that want to join you. but once you have a few friends, things do get easier. don't expect quick results. be steadfast. it may take months to even find one person willing to go with you. keep talking to people until you find them.

[scarface_74]

And you still refuse to answer the question - have you personally put yourself out there to talk to people that hate you because of who you are - the color if your skin? Your sexuality? Your religion?

Or do you think it’s the same thing about talking to people who believe differently on policy decisions and someone who fundamentally doesn’t believe that certain people have no right to exist “in their space” or don’t care or actively wants someone to suffer because who they are?

I can’t “address people’s grievances” that think I don’t belong to their group because of the color of my skin anymore than a gay person can “address grievances” of someone who thinks because of their sexuality that God is going to rain down hellfire and brimstone on the nation.

It’s about as bad as the conservatives “thoughts and prayers”. And honestly for you (because after repeatedly asking I assume) are a person who doesn’t have to deal with a systemic “ism” can tell a minority/non straight person or a non Christian that we should go out of our way to spend time with people that hate us is insulting.

I don’t “complain”. Were my still living parents generation who grew up in the Jim Crow south right to spend time and energy to fight for laws about equal access and treatment under the law? Of course. Should I champion policies that give everyone universal healthcare, fair treatment by the justice system, hiring practices, etc? - of course.

But why should I care about people’s attitude toward me not because of who I am but because of the color of my skin (and they probably see me as one of these “tech elites” too) or even 10 miles in the city of the suburbs I use to live in (look up Forsyth County GA being visited by Oprah Winfrey)? If they choose to remain ignorant and choose to suffer because they care more about politicians hurting others than helping them - so be it.

And what “attitude” should I change? That there are some “good Klansmen”? That there are some good people laughing about illegal immigrants getting eaten by alligators?

You can’t change these people’s minds. The best you can do is hope they don’t have a position of power and if they don’t, let them wallow in their own ignorance.