[brailsafe]

Even if you love someone and can manage your life with them, it's important to consider how that'll play out with even a little bit more pressure placed on a situation that thrives on stability. Kids are not a little bit of pressure, and if there's a possibility their mother (or adopted mother) will disappear for periods of time unpredictably, it would make an already extremely demanding obligation that much more tenuous.

[lazyasciiart]

Disappearing unpredictably is one of the less harmful ways it might show up. Imagine having a parent who you literally cannot trust to recognize how to care for you. My aunt is schizophrenic and was not diagnosed until late (as seems to be common, she moved away from family and friends to get away from interference). Her kids were 13 through 5 when she was diagnosed and had serious trauma.

[brailsafe]

Yep, I have an older friend who'd grown up with a schizophrenic mother who he's had lifelong trauma from. It's a bit horrifying. Incidentally it seems like the genx and beyond in my life never grew up with a framework for either identifying or addressing even something as common as clinical depression or ADHD, let alone the more potentially externally destructive ones like borderline, bipolar, schizophrenia. Seemed like they carried on to raise their kids with a sort of hope that if they ignore it, it'll eventually go away.