[bluefirebrand]

I am actually just starting to go on medical leave from work due to this

My performance has been going down, my anxiety and stress are through the roof. Honestly you wouldn't know it from talking to me, other than the fact my memory is shot

I'm completely forgetting stuff minutes after it happens

I'm very unhappy with the feeling, and I hate going on leave for this, but I have to. I'm not even 40 and this is the second time in my life I've burned out hard like this

[zellyn]

This happened to me during the pandemic. High (insupportable) stress, plus a year or two of significantly too little sleep, plus social isolation.

It was terrifying. I had just seen my mom taken by Alzheimer’s (or something similar) way too young, and thought my life was over.

All the tests coming back negative, making a point of hanging out with friends, returning to the office, and getting enough sleep seemed to help, and it slowly started getting better.

[bluefirebrand]

I am somewhat the opposite. The pandemic was great for me. Being able to work remotely is wonderful. Much less stressful than commuting daily, more free time, less scrutiny during work hours and I don't live alone so staying home isn't isolating

I definitely do need to spend more time out of the house with friends and such though

Most of my current stress is due to AI fears, layoffs looming, uncertain about the future job market for my skills, and such. Definitely too little sleep

I think I'm too young for Alzheimer's to be a serious concern but it does run in the family so it might be worth asking my doctor about it. I hadn't thought of that

I really do think that it's mostly a combination of my company having like 6 rounds of layoffs in the last couple of years, plus them turning up the pressure to use AI as a daily driver now.

I've been trying but I just cannot get the productivity out of it that other people are claiming. Makes me feel obsolete

Edit: I also can't really wrap my head around my coworkers who are gleefully embracing AI tools after watching the company cut literally half of our development team over the past couple of years.

It makes me feel like I'm watching chickens sharpen the farmer's axe

[zellyn]

I think sleep is possibly the most important part. I also did a sleep study and started using a CPAP machine: might want to look into that if it’s a possibility…

[bluefirebrand]

I do have one already and it helps a great deal for getting good sleep when I can

But it does not help me get to sleep in the first place unfortunately. Too much anxiety

I appreciate the suggestion though and if anyone else struggles to sleep, wakes up randomly out of breath, I do strongly recommend a cpap. It is great for me when I actually can sleep

[kevingadd]

Wishing you a smooth recovery! It'll take a while but recovery is possible

[beng-nl]

Good luck friend

[bluefirebrand]

Thank you, very kind of you

I mostly wanted to share my current state so if other people reading also recognize themselves in it, hopefully they realize it isn't normal and they also go seek help

As for me I will be okay. I've been through this before on my own and managed. This time I have a partner to help me through too