[mattslip]

Recently broke out of the mentality you described myself. When you have a chance to step back and find yourself it’s actually funny how much we can let others from keeping us from doing what we want. External validation is a drug when you don’t know how to value yourself.

[nuancebydefault]

I'm much a people pleaser and I constantly seem to yearn for validation. I see life as a web of relationships and I want all of them to be good. Especially when someone doesn't respect what I do for them or say to them in good faith, this is very hard for me to take in. I wonder how to get out of this cycle of needing validation. I also wonder where this need comes from. If anybody can shed a light, i would be grateful.

[polishdude20]

Maybe if you see this web of relationships connected to you and your job is to please everyone, how about zooming in and picturing the web that is inside of you?

Have you heard of parts therapy? It operates on the idea that we "contain multitudes" that all are trying to do their best for us. If you learn to include parts of yourself in this web of relationships, where different parts of you are distinct "people" that need pleasing, you may start "pleasing" yourself more often?

Like, I'm imagining zoomed out, there's nuancebydefault4's circle in the middle and everybody in your life is also a circle. You're connected by lines in this web. But zoom in and you can see that inside your circle, is a web of relationships of different parts of you. The part that needs love, the part that needs intellectual stimulation, the part that needs rest etc.

Anyways just a post run thought Im having while the endorphins are kicking in...

[nuancebydefault]

Thanks so much, definitely a track to explore!