[im3w1l]

This is interesting. I could imagine that it's not exactly that you are selecting for the same dysfunction. Maybe it's rather that you don't know what functional looks like, and therefore can't as easily find a place that fits or steer your current place in the right dirrection?

[47282847]

Our organism’s primary goal is survival. Unknown territory will feel unsafe and thus stressful, up to the point of unreal, even if on a rational level it may actually be safer. It takes courage to face and calm those fears without consciously or unconsciously returning to known survival strategies - and meta cognition skills to sufficiently distance yourself from those past emotional memories. After all, they allowed you to survive.