[mettamage]

For me it's a fight too. It's life or death when it comes to my loved ones, that may be dramatic but emotionally that's how I am wired. The urgency helps.

One could say it's unhealthy and I need therapy but I'm already in therapy and I'm noticing that these things take a long time to tease out. Also, when it comes to potentially unhealthy behavior the question must be asked: what are you getting out of it? In my case, a life in which I function. Moreover, other than that I'm not stressed a lot.