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by throwanem 415 days ago
Oh, please. I denied nothing. If you object to my characterization of that experience, do so overtly. But I knew at least a dozen like you. You were friends with the young rich asshole kids of the old rich asshole antebellum planter families, because they were your family's social peers even if you yourself didn't respect them - your family owned real estate worth redlining! - and now you think you're being magnanimous and openminded by generalizing from there to the poor whites who picked on you and beat you up and the black kids you were ashamed you were afraid of.
2 comments

Okay, let me be more clear. The contempt I display is not "ignorant contempt". It's rooted in years of experience. How could my comments possibly be interpreted as me thinking I'm being magnanimous? I very clearly expressed my sympathy with the liberal attitude toward the people in these states.

You're making quite a lot of assumptions about my experience, none of which is really correct. I wasn't openly hostile to these "antebellum plantation families", but I avoided them as much as possible. Most of my friends were from other liberal-leaning families.

Many of the people I spent time with were poor whites. I wasn't ever beat up by a poor white kid, and I wasn't afraid of any black kids. If I consider the political leanings of the white kids I knew, I didn't notice much difference in prejudice based on social class. So again, denying my experience just because you're mad (I assume?) that your segment of society is being painted with a certain brush. And imagining all sorts of things about my life to dismiss my attitude to boot.

Is what I wrote earlier unfair to you? Yes, probably (so are your replies to me). But I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about what I experienced, and that crosses boundaries of social class, despite your implication that it doesn't.

'My segment of society.' "Spoken like a rich white liberal." If we had the language to discuss class in this country, you would not find that such a mystifying statement, nor one that would cause you the shame that it does. You have no incentive to understand it, alas, because you are a member of the class which benefits from the lack. Thank goodness that's not my problem.

Prior experience over many iterations of this conversation strongly suggests your next play will be to accuse me of being (in some combination) fascist, racist, a Trump voter, homophobic, morbidly obese, or whatever other such libels occur to you. To my considerable surprise, predicting such deviations aloud lately seems not much to reduce the odds of their occurring. Let's see what happens this time!

Unfortunately for you, that is not my MO (and if you re-read the conversation you'll see it's you who has been defensive, feeling shame, and imagining/projecting things onto me the entire time). I've (mostly) addressed what you've written, not who I assume you are or what your attitudes are.

Also, I feel no shame for being called a "rich white liberal," which really shows how little you understand my psychology (or me, period).

All this vitriol even after I singled out rich southerners in my OP. Something isn't adding up here, but unlike you, I'm not going to assume what it is. Have a good one.

I'm here to demonstrate your prejudices, but not especially to you. So long.
Care to address the slurs and redlining?
Have I been less than clear? Those are core examples of exactly the trashy behavior I expect from the Mississippi social class and scene of which my other interlocutor and their family were part, during their time in my home state.

(My hometown, actually, I bet. Oxford, right? Biggest net exporter of nonmalodorous feces in the state, bar none. The university draws 'em like flies on...well, never mind. Bet you never put a finger in a bullet hole on the Lyceum's frontage, the way I did.)

Where my other interlocutor and I really differ is that they expect to get a pass for having been "one of the good ones," and I issue no such passes. It isn't that I consider anyone who grew up that rich beneath my consideration, only that I'm less inclined to be patient and gentle with those who can afford about as much such treatment as they like and yet still expect it free of charge from me.

I'm just not understanding your entire position, I guess. They are saying the overt racism is inexcusable and hating that ignorance makes sense to them. You are saying they grew up rich and so ... what exactly? They were also subtly racist? Or that if they were impoverished they would have been just as racist?
They're generalizing ignorantly from a very narrow slice of a culture, which they saw because that was the narrow slice in which their own family chose to participate, and proceeding to blame quite literally everyone else possible but themself and their parents for that entirely intentional choice. They have either failed to study sufficient history to find the error, or have done so and found the error preferable. Neither merits my respect.

I don't even care they won't listen to me trying to explain how they're blinkered, because I have been trying for three mortal decades and that literally never works; to somebody like this one, I'll never be anything but poor white trash, no matter just how cleverly they always think they say it.

I grew up poor and white in Mississippi and I didn't grow up hearing slurs. That is white trash behavior - white trash, not poor! - as I was raised to believe from before I myself could speak. Like public drunkenness or indecent exposure, that is, an "unforced error" invariably both culpable and shameful. And here we have this fool who not only did grow up with those who knew no better, they themself is ignorant enough not to know they should have known better, yet believes themself qualified not merely to opine but to condescend. Must I wipe their nose for them as well? Another orifice, perhaps?

Growing up poor and white in Mississippi probably puts you on better footing than growing rich and white in Mississippi. The most vile racism I've seen from is from genteel folks who should "know better." They're not racist because they're ignorant. They're racist because they like to be. They enjoy their place on the hierarchy.