[ponector]

>I wish more servers would be more subtle

Why would they change their behavior if you tip anyway?

[neilv]

I think it would be jerky to give feedback notes to a server, and almost no one will do it, so the message wouldn't come across that way.

I'd guess what's needed is to promote a different school of thought via broadcast (e.g., through lifestyle articles and restaurant trade publications).

Though it might be that I'm not representative, and more US diners want to go through the rituals of being served conspicuously, as part of the experience.

[ndsipa_pomu]

Personally, I wouldn't bother trying to educate the server, but would instead choose somewhere else to eat.