[whoodle]

I appreciate the suggestions, thank you.

I actually grew up in Ohio and know the cities there well. They’re just too small and public transit leaves a lot to be desired.

To me, there’s just something different about the cities that got big before cars that the southern cities, Ohio cities, etc can’t capture. It’s hard to explain if you’re not that type of person.

I think we will consider Chicago though (if I can sell my wife on the weather)

[smt88]

I lived in NYC and understand what you mean. I now live in a walkable Southern city and don't own a car.

The quality and ease of life are so much better here, I wouldn't go back to NYC if you paid me $50k per year.

Ymmv of course, but I've found the "extras" of ultra-urban cities are fun when you're young and a huge source of friction when you're just trying to survive a day of work + parenting.

[whoodle]

I lived in Raleigh and then Charlotte about a decade ago and can’t picture living in those places without a car. That said, I may be out of date on what it’s like there now.

Would you mind sharing what city you live in? If not, no worries, I understand wanting to keep anonymity.

I completely get what you’re saying about friction though. In my friend circles the only parents raising kids in cities are Philly and London, the latter of which is so big at some point you’re basically in a different town anyway.

Thanks, I appreciate your responses here. It’s been a weird realization knowing I hate where I live but not having an exact answer to where we should live that also is best for the kids.

[smt88]

I'll probably get doxxed by AI at some point in the future, but since you can never delete HN posts, I'd prefer to stay anonymous if I can. Send me an email at this temporary address and I'd be happy to chat: [e-mail]