Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by kortilla 429 days ago
>If you take the time to explain the situation to the child you often don't need to convince them anymore.

This is not true. It doesn’t work for meltdowns caused by not buying them a toy, not giving them ice cream at bed time, etc.
1 comments
bornfreddy 428 days ago
No, it doesn't - because meltdowns are the final stage of "why is this adult not listening to my side of the story?!?'. What works is communicating with them (earlier), listening to them, talking to them and - yes, explaining situations to them. Basically treating them with respect. No offence, but whenever I saw a meltdown, the child in question always had a point. It was the adult who was missing it. What is worse, sometimes the adult was even plain wrong in their position, at least from my point of view.

I hope I don't come across as rude, this is just something I feel very strongly about. Once you see how differently the kids behave if you treat them with respect it is difficult to be quiet about it. :-)

link
kortilla 426 days ago
What you’re saying is out of touch with raising a child with a strong personality and you’re either projecting your experience with a docile child or are just really overfitting on a few bad interactions you observed that were clearly caused by the adult.

Not being understood is one of many frustrations children have and it’s very rarely the cause with my friends that diligently practiced gentle parenting that heavily involved acknowledging emotions and desires but still resulted in meltdowns because KIDS ARE SELFISH. There is a reason “sharing” is a school that has to be taught.

link
bornfreddy 426 days ago
Maybe. Or maybe not. Maybe "strong personality" is just an excuse, or maybe it really is the cause.

I don't think we will reach an agreement here, so let's just leave it at this. Wish you all the best!

link