[jb1991]

That’s unfortunate. And it’s a uniquely American mindset. Long-term relationships in Europe for example do not require marriage in the same way that Americans do. People get married in the states because of the law, people get married in other countries because they just want to get married for emotional or spiritual reasons.

[Aurornis]

I cannot think of anyone here in the United States who got married for legal benefits, other than some couples working on citizenship issues for one partner without citizenship.

I think your Americans-vs-Europeans argument is greatly exaggerated if not outright false.

[scarface_74]

Raises hand.

I got engaged to my wife with the expectation of us getting married 6 months later. We pulled our marriage forward 6 months because I got laid off from my job and needed to get on her insurance. I had a contract literally the next week after getting laid off and could have paid for COBRA out of pocket. But it was her idea to go to the courthouse

[jb1991]

Married filing jointly, tax benefits. My sibling did it.

Also, health insurance. Another thing Americans have yet to learn from Europe. In the states, sometimes you have to get married just to get health insurance. It’s kind of ridiculous.

[techjamie]

My employer is of course just one and not representative of every company. But my work/indurance is happy to accept long term domestic partner in lieu of marriage. As long as you swear to be in a long term committed relationship and live together, it's fine.

[jb1991]

That opens up an entirely different discussion, which is why should health insurance be tied to a job? This is also uniquely American. Is your home insurance tied to your job? Is your car insurance tied to your job? Is your life insurance? Doesn’t make sense that your health insurance should be. What happens if you get laid off or you decide you don’t want to work for this company any more or you want to take another opportunity? Now your health insurance or your health insurance costs might both change. And you might have to go through the same hoops again to get a domestic partner installed, etc.

[jandrewrogers]

FWIW, it has become increasingly common in the US (or at least the parts I’ve lived in) to allow adding an informal domestic partner to your health insurance, no marriage required. IIRC, there is a tax quirk if you do it but I haven’t done it in many years.

[jb1991]

I just did a search of all the different legal benefits, and financial benefits, you get in the United States if you’re married. It’s quite a vast list.

[graemep]

As I said in another comment this leads to many people being disadvantaged.

I do not know where you live, and these laws vary between countries, but in the UK marriage gives you a lot of important legal rights. Not marring disadvantages a lower earning partner (most often a woman who has taken time off a career to look after kids) if the relationship breaks down, it does not give you the same legal rights if one dies with regard to inheritance (no real rights if there is no will, far less right to contest a will, and the loss of a significant inheritance tax exemption even if there is), or being automatically next of kin (I think this has improved in practice), no automatic joint parental responsibility for children, etc.

[pdabbadabba]

> People get married in the states because of the law

That's at least vastly overstated, and probably just false. I'm an American living in a major urban center and I don't think I know anybody for whom the decision to get married was influenced by legal considerations to any significant degree.

[kgermino]

I do know a fair number of people who got married for health insurance (not really legal reasons, but maybe adjacent?).

Though very few of those cases we’re people who otherwise would not have gotten married, rather people who got a legal marriage very quickly to access health, benefits then took the normal amount of time for the ceremonial wedding

[jb1991]

Tax benefits. Married, filing jointly. Happens a lot, including to people within my family.

Also, health insurance. Another thing Americans have yet to learn from Europe. In the states, sometimes you have to get married just to get health insurance. It’s kind of ridiculous.

[nothercastle]

There are benefits if you have different income levels but penalties in the low and the high end. Very high penalties on the low end

[jb1991]

Just google all of the legal and financial benefits that you get in the United States when you get married.

[devilbunny]

The legal incentives are quite large, but the financial ones are much less impressive unless you have a stay-at-home spouse.

[pdabbadabba]

I'm not ignorant of the legal incentives in the U.S. and I'm not saying people never marry for those reasons. But the post I was responding to was making a much stronger generalization. Most people who marry in the U.S. also do it for "emotional or spiritual reasons."

[drivingmenuts]

I'm pretty sure that people here in the US get married for emotional and spiritual reasons far more than they do for legal reasons.

[jb1991]

While I do get your point, marriage is so deeply ingrained into the legal and financial systems of the U.S. that I think many can't help but subconsciously attach these things that really should be independent.

Marriage unlocks a wide range of legal and financial benefits: access to a spouse’s health insurance, favorable tax treatment (like joint filing and estate tax breaks), and legal protections such as hospital visitation rights, inheritance without a will, and immigration sponsorship. It also affects Social Security, parental rights, and eligibility for things like pensions and veterans’ benefits. I mean, if you get married, in the States stuff is just all worked out automatically.

In many other countries, marriage is not attached to these things.

[diogocp]

> In many other countries, marriage is not attached to these things.

Care to name one?

What you described is basically how marriage works in my corner of Europe.

[jb1991]

In some European countries, for example, many of these protections are granted by physically living together, not by getting married.