[pj_mukh]

After 35, you don't like traveling but boy do you like 'Vacationing'.

Author is right, after you travel (and slum it a bit) you realize that after surface level cultural/food/history differences everyone kinda/sorta wants similar things in life and while people's life stories are interesting, you start noticing patterns.

OTOH, (Caveat:I don't have enough money for this) there is nothing that recharges you more than first class tickets somewhere beautiful and getting pampered in a resort. People (esp in their 20's) poo poo this. Rightly so, you should be experiencing the "real culture". But me, I've done that already, I'm gonna sit in the Four Seasons.

P.S: Another thing I'd suggest the author try is fitness trips! Big Hikes, marathons, surfing competitions? Nothing speedruns cultural competency like doing a really difficult thing somewhere new. Get Travel insurance.

[justonceokay]

Maybe. I’m 35 now and any time I participate in any kind of catered tourism it turns my stomach. Maybe I was just spoiled on it by reading ‘A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again’. Maybe I’ve worked too many service jobs. But regardless, I just can’t put out of my mind how little business I have being there other than that I have some cash to burn. Paying for hospitality is about as appealing as paying for sex. In my mind if I don’t have a single friend who can host me in a city, I just don’t have a reason to go.

Then again I already live in a beautiful place and I’ve always been great at being a tourist in my own city. Ask me again in 10 years and maybe I’ll have your outlook.

[pj_mukh]

This feels like pretty typical millennial sensibilities (including me). We don't like class differences made explicit via performative gestures. The fact that they are happening even if you don't participate is irrelevant.

I like lush beautifully designed resorts, my room cleaned, and top-notch local fare room service, but all the other service song-and-dance, the waiting on you hand and foot (as is typical in some developing nations), I can do without.

[lurking_swe]

the reality is people need to feed themselves, and sometimes a job that feels shitty is better than no job. I’m sure you know that, i just point it out to say “it’s ok”. They signed up for that job because they need it. It’s not slave labor.

If you feel guilty about the class difference, then do what i do, and tip very generously. I like to leave $100 tip on the bed for housekeeping (at fancy hotels) upon checkout. Tip your taxi / uber well. you get the idea.

[Freedom2]

It's important to recognize other cultures and realize that while Americans enjoy tipping (and often rely on tips as their source of income), not every country, especially in Asia, accepts or appreciates tips, and some treat it as an offense.

[lurking_swe]

yeah that’s a good call out re: cultures! Absolutely, in hindsight my advice was more framed toward a vacation in a “western” country.

Always important to research norms & customs when traveling.

[SwtCyber]

Haha yeah, this feels way too real. There's definitely a point where the idea of "discovering yourself" through 4 a.m. bus rides and questionable hostels loses its charm, and a comfy robe, ocean view, and zero responsibilities start sounding like peak enlightenment.

[em-bee]

does it? i haven't noticed. how about crossing the border at 3am with young kids and lots of luggage? once you have children the time of zero responsibilities is gone. at least until they are all grown up. i do enjoy a nice hotel only on business trips, because someone else is paying for it...

[SwtCyber]

I was mostly joking from the "no kids, just existential dread" phase of life. I can't even imagine the chaos of a 3am border crossing with little ones and luggage… that's a whole different level of adventure.

[Eddy_Viscosity2]

I'm also feeling done with traveling. I pre-pandemic traveled a lot for work and they were mostly (not all, but mostly) good experiences that I looked for forward too. After the pandemic the work travel never really re-asserted itself to the same level. On the rarer occasions I do travel now I find the process of it more hassle: fewer or no airline perks, longer lineups and more waiting at airports, entry lineups, and just so much more hassle at every step. The experiences are less enjoyable too as many places just feel more the same as every other place. Yes you can get some amazing food, but you can also pick wrong and getting mediocre or crappy food. Meeting new people when traveling is only getting harder, this is part of the global phone attention problem.

I've also done the resort thing, and its not for me. The luxury and pampering many seem to love just makes me feel awkward and uncomfortable. I also don't like the planned outings and such. Even if the thing we're brought to see/experience is objectively amazing, I'm always made to feel like an object being processed by a machine: line up here, get your pass, line up there, look at thing / do thing, move along, NEXT!

I'm finding more contentment just being where I'm at and taking advantage of the things that are close by.

[jsbisviewtiful]

My wife and I are in our late 30s and did our first all-included resort trip about 2 years ago. It was boring and we went right back to our regular traveling of walking all over new countries to see the different culture and new places. Already planning our next 3 trips, none of them resorts.

[yieldcrv]

In my case I haven't soured on travel but I have gotten busier.

I’ve narrowed down where I like to live and do that, after having seen what other developed nations have to offer. (There are parts of the developing world I could enjoy but I don’t see myself prioritizing them when I get back into the extended travel circuit.)

I can slum it purely for the social aspect, and then pamper myself at a Four Seasons tier place on the weekend - subsidized largely by credit card rewards points. Nice places are inherently not nearly as social as nice hostels. But I can also fly a paramour in, du jour.

As long as my health stays great my 30s have been a god-tier version of my 20s and I can see my 40s going that way as well. My 20s was mired by chasing rites of passages and learning I didn't like or want that. Doing the power couple thing with a fellow corporate climber, moving in, etc. Classically, I’m fine with the most aimless anti-intellectual and visually attractive partners as soon as I had the option. “Wife changing money” is what they colloquially say.

Film festivals, music festivals, retreats, the “socialite circuit”, living other places for a couple of months… the allure of that hasn't gone away, for me. In the mean time, life is just speeding by working and saving again, staying entertained in my chosen city, until I actually do something entrepreneurial again.

[chii]

> People (esp in their 20's) poo poo this. Rightly so

Not really. It's sour grapes imho.

[Monotoko]

I wouldn’t say sour grapes, just that people have a certain budget. Forgoing Business/First i used to be able to afford more days away, maybe an extra city, etc

As I get older I take business class more, because I prefer the comfort over having a few extra days. Ask younger me and he would have taken the extra holiday days

[AlotOfReading]

You can sit in a fancy spa or a luxury hotel anywhere and they share a lot of intentional similarities to cater to the same audience of jetsetting luxury travelers. What does a plane ticket add to the experience over a staycation at the local intercontinental?

[NhanH]

That is why it is very common for vacations (of people who stays at Four Seasons) to start or end a business trips: I am already there, might as well get my family to join and try some new foods.

[writebetterc]

You're wrong :-). I hate that stuff, and I'm technically not even in my 20s anymore!

[kirso]

This!

+ Nature trips. I went to Taiwan for 7 days experiencing cities, shores, mountains, forests, lakes and gorges. Holy cow the most underrated country and travel with a cherry on the pie of having your favourite musician playing at the end of the trip.

[snapplebobapple]

For me, it's not so much the vacationing that I enjoy (I can do a pampered resort for maybe 1 week a year max before it gets really tiring). It's more a combination of already seeing a whole bunch of stuff and getting older (and feeling that older in my body) utterly changes the tradeoffs. Cramming my fat ass into an economy seat on flights longer than 4 hours to save a few thousand on flights 20's me was all over that, 40's me no freaking way. I can either afford the business class tickets or I'm not going at this point. Staying in a hostel/ renting a van and sleeping in the back of it to save a few thousand on hotels? Same deal hells yes for 20's me, PFO for 40's me. Flying in one spot, booking 1 or 2 nights in hostels traveling across the region for three weeks then flying out somewhere else? Big yes in my 20's big nope now. Now I fly in somewhere and spend at least 3 nights in every spot (but often a whole week) and instead of 35k+ steps and 12 hour plus non stop go days to see as much as possible, 10-15k usual, 20k max with some relaxation time planned for every day.

[konart]

>After 35, you don't like traveling but boy do you like 'Vacationing'.

My mother started traveling alone after 50. She's 62 this year and I think the only years without any traveling she had were the COVID years.

Same for me more or less. Never was interested in traveling until around 35.

[david38]

I disagree. I despise pampering in a country where everyone makes a pittance and slaving over some rich American is a more lucrative career than most others. I come from such a country.

It’s possible to have fun very easily, even a very relaxing vacation and not have most of the money siphoned away by some corporation like a giant resort company that plays fast and loose with local resources because the government is desperate for employment

[wodenokoto]

Having just been on safari staying mostly at 4 and 5 star places, I gotta admit that the one night out at a local pub still has its place when traveling.

[theideaofcoffee]

> there is nothing that recharges you more than first class tickets somewhere beautiful and getting pampered in a resort

From first-hand experience, 100% this absolutely. The most relaxed I have ever felt in my life (and with a decrease in my resting heart rate to prove it, thanks Apple Watch) was a nice flight and a week at a high-end all-inclusive with just myself and a spa and pool day every day.

And I totally agree with the realization one can come to about how similar we all are after experiencing what others may call “different” cultures.

Granted I still have the travel itch all the time, it’s difficult to scratch that itch with obligations at home, but you do what you can, and take the passport stamps as they come!

[EVa5I7bHFq9mnYK]

The author needs to build furniture to pay for their food and stay. What Four Seasons.

[mavidser]

Haha that's fair. Though I wouldn't say I need to, but I like to. These are the few times I get to work with my hands, and having some accountability of an exchange helps with consistency and discipline. But YMMV of course.